Wishful Thinking
by Nigelcat1
Summary: WARNING! This story is gross and vulgar but necessary for the story. Harry is in his fifth year and everybody is against him. There is nothing he can do about it except to wish things were different. He is a wizard and sometimes wishes come true.


WISHFUL THINKING

J K Rowling owns all the rights to the books and the amazing characters she created. I write only to satisfy my imagination and use my creativity and make no money from my writings.

Chapter 1 – Nothing You Can Do About It

He didn't know when it had started but it just might have begun when he was at Grimmauld Place and he wished that Ron would choke to death. Ron had choked but not to death as Hermione had pounded on him until he spit up the wad of sausages he had been half chewing while talking loudly and bragging about being the male Gryffindor fifth year Prefect. A few other things had happen that were strange but nothing to compare with this.

Harry was sitting in the Great Hall at Hogwarts trying to have a peaceful dinner without any real success. The reason was because once again Delores Umbridge was pontificating on yet another way of destroying Harry's life in the guise of "reforming" the educational standards at Hogwarts.

It had been bad enough that she had tried to get him expelled during his trial – oops he meant disciplinary hearing – but now Fudge, in another abuse of power, had sent her to Hogwarts to bring it up to Ministry approved specifications. In other words she was a spy and had been sent to destroy not only Hogwarts but Harry's life.

So far she had been doing an excellent job at both. She was "teaching" Defense against the Dark Arts or, in reality, wasn't teaching it since Voldemort was still dead (and would remain so) there was no need for any wizard or witch to learn how to actually defend themselves. Nope no need whatsoever to learn anything like that as there was no reason. All you had to do was to study the theory and that was all you would need not only in your everyday life but to pass your OWLS and NEWTS.

Therefore you just sat in class and read the worst book ever written on the subject while Umbridge watched you like a hawk for any type of rebellion (or common sense). Then, especially if you were Harry Potter, she would assign you a detention and make you write lines with a blood quill. She was doing it to other people so technically he couldn't complain about being singled out for special ill-treatment. However, he had more detentions than anybody else so he could tell himself (as no one else would listen) that he was being persecuted.

He had "earned" more detentions basically for just breathing. Even the ones Snape gave him were to be diverted to Umbridge and Snape had actually looked sad upon hearing he was being denied one of his few joys in life, that of torturing Harry Potter in a detention.

So Harry was sitting along with everybody else listening to new decrees or some such rot and wishing, really, really wishing (and not for the first time) that she would drop dead or, even better, explode into little pieces and gross out everyone in the Great Hall.

And then she had – exploded into little pieces and grossed out everybody. They were bits of Umbridge all over the head table and those sitting in their usual seats. Some of Umbridge had blown onto the first seats on the Ravenclaw and Gryffindor tables, being the ones closest to Umbridge's seat. There had been shock and silence for a moment before people started screaming, vomiting and panicking.

Ron had been very impressed as had most of Gryffindor and the Twins had actually led the thundering applause which had just started. Harry didn't know which made him sicker – the fact that Umbridge was in bloody bits and pieces or that Ron still continued eating (a lot) while watching everything and making his usual "witty comments" on a bad situation.

Hermione had been too shocked to say anything, but only for two seconds. Then, for some strange reason, she turned to Harry and glared at him like it was his fault – not Ron, who was being a jackass - but Harry. But then what else was new. He started bracing waiting to hear what her tirade was going to be and if she would be the first person to blame him.

Inexplicitly, she didn't say a thing just glared – at him and not Ron and definitely not the Twins. As usual Harry couldn't win.

Soon the Great Hall was swarming with Aurors, reporters and a hysterical Minister of Magic Fudge. Not surprisingly, Harry was immediately taken into custody, his wand was confiscated and he was led away for "questioning" or, in other words, he was being blamed.

Well try as they might, they couldn't prove he did it. His wand history only showed the usual castings which a fifth year student would do and since Amelia Bones was watching like a hawk, Cornelius Fudge couldn't do anything funny or illegal as much as he wanted to. He would jump at anything to get the boy expelled or, better yet, sent to Azkaban just to shut him up about You-Know-Who returning from the dead. Why oh why hadn't it been the boy who exploded into little bits of gore.

After two days, Umbridge's death was declared an assassination by persons unknown and Fudge swore he would find the culprit. So far (since Harry had been reluctantly declared innocent) the leading suspect was Sirius Black.

In the silence of his bed once the curtains were closed and he was away from prying eyes and disparaging looks, Harry smiled. He was delighted that Umbridge was out of his life and had he known who had done the deed, he would have sent them a thank-you-note (anonymously of course).

Of course Fudge had sent a new spy…er Defense teacher. This person was actually an Auror, Silas Pimpo, but he still used the book chosen by the Ministry. The only thing he said was to impress upon all students the same old spiel that "no one was in danger" and "You-Know-Who is dead and staying that way" and the good old "the Ministry protects one and all" garbage.

A week after Umbridge's death things had settled into a dull, but usual, "let's torture/blame/ abuse/harass Potter for something" routine. Snape and the Slytherins were still horrible to him, people were accusing him of lying about Voldemort's return or getting away with killing Umbridge or whatever was fashionable at the moment. At least Pimpo didn't use a blood quill to punish students as it was illegal.

Ron was walking around like the king of the hill – well he was a Prefect after all – and, not surprisingly, abusing his position. Hermione was doing all of the work while all Ron did was to harass first and second year Slytherins (when the older ones weren't around) and deduct points from them. He was an equal opportunity abuser and did the same to the odd Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw. At the very least he yelled at the firsties and second years and then just strutted about worse than a Malfoy.

And it was very noticeable as even Snape had asked Ron "are you channeling your inner James Potter?" much to the laughter of even Harry. Ron took offense more often these days as apparently he wasn't getting the "respect he so truly deserved" especially from his fellow Gryffindors. Since his own brothers constantly made fun of him it was not surprising that no Gryffindor took him seriously.

So Ron decided to take his frustration out on Harry (surprise, surprise – but not really) since it was evident that Harry was insanely jealous that Ron had been made Prefect because Dumbledore had finally recognized all of his amazing qualities and had rewarded him accordingly.

But that wasn't the reason. Harry knew that Ron was not really his friend and that both he and Hermione had been controlling him and spying on him for Dumbledore ever since first year. They didn't think he knew but he did. Hell everybody else in the school knew so why shouldn't Harry who, despite what was said about him and what Hermione thought, was a very intelligent person and a great actor. He had had to be in order to survive the Dursleys.

Nope, Ron being made Prefect was not only a reward for all his unethical actions on behalf of Dumbledore but to humble, abuse, insult and just plain humiliate Harry Potter. And as long as Dumbledore was alive and in power, there was nothing Harry could do about it except try to survive.

During one of the rare times that Harry was alone with Neville in their room, Neville had said to Harry, "You do know that you should have been made Prefect?"

"Yeah, I do," Harry had replied. "And if not me then you should have been Prefect. Hell Seamus or Dean would have been a better choice than vulture boy (Harry's "pet name" for Ron used when he was talking with Neville). But since there is nothing we can do about it.…"

Ron had taken to accusing Harry of being jealous of him because he was Prefect and "you didn't get something for once." Despite telling Ron many times that he wasn't, he was still being blamed. Today Ron had called Harry a liar in front of all of the people assembled in the Gryffindor common room. Not only that, he deducted 10 points from Gryffindor and swore to tell McGonagall. He then stormed out of the common room leaving Harry and even Hermione, speechless for once.

However, a moment or so after Ron left in a huff, Hermione went over to Harry and told him he should apologize to Ron.

"WHAT THE HELL FOR?"

"For being jealous."

Now Harry put up with a lot from both his "best mates" and normally he couldn't get a word in when either Ron or especially Hermione were talking (or in Hermione's case giving a lecture/sermon). But this last thing was just too much. Even a certified saint couldn't let this slide and Harry was definitely no saint. So he exploded and gave Hermione a tongue lashing or did until she cast a silencing spell on him and took ten points. She then very smugly left the room.

Then people started laughing at Harry and making some rather rude comments. It was past curfew otherwise Harry would have left the Tower and gone off to sulk on his own. Since Ron was a Prefect he had a free pass to wander around the school. Ordinarily, Harry would have used his invisibility cloak to slip out and cool down except for the fact that the other day his cloak had gone missing.

He had called Dobby and asked if he could find the cloak. A very guilty Dobby had said he knew where the cloak was – Professor Dumbledore had it and therefore it could not be retrieved.

"You mean Dumbledore took my cloak."

"No Harry Potter's Grangery took it to Headmaster because she thought that Harry Potter would use it to get in trouble. Missy Grangery also gave him the special map for the same reason."

With the exception of the spying – which he _officially_ didn't know about – this was the worst thing Hermione had ever done to him. Even the "broom incident" in third year was worse than this because at least concerning the broom she was trying to actually help him (for once). And that was what Harry told Neville who had followed him up to their room. Neville had actually managed to lift the silencing spell and was heartily congratulated by Harry. Although Neville was sympathetic, as usual, both admitted that there was nothing they could do about it.

"I don't care if Gryffindor loses every damn point we have, there is no way I am 'apologizing' to Ron especially for something that I am not guilty of doing. And yes, I know that I will only get in trouble and will probably be nagged – then ordered – by Hermione to apologize but I'm not going to do it."

After venting his spleen, the only thing Harry could do was to go to bed. He charmed his curtains shut and finished up his charms homework which he hadn't been able to finish due to serving a detention with Snape (because Harry Potter was an arrogant bastard just like his father) and to Ron's outburst.

Finished, he tried to sleep but his mind was too busy being angry, but again, what else was new. He would just probably be having a nightmare courtesy of Voldie so he grabbed his Herbology textbook and read ahead. Naturally he was too angry to concentrate so he did what he had been doing lately – thinking evil thoughts and wishfully thinking up unique methods of revenge.

How would he "teach" Hermione a lesson if he could – without getting caught - and definitely Ron. Thinking blissful thoughts he eventually fell asleep little knowing that some of them would come true.

Chapter 2 – What Do You Know – It Worked

The next morning Harry was heading down to breakfast with Neville. Ron was still sleeping because Harry didn't wake him up like he usually did. No doubt he would have points deducted for this act of "disrespect" but he had meant it last night when he told Neville he didn't care if Gryffindor was pointless. "It is a _pointless_ excuse for a house anyway and they all hate me so why even bother."

They had been so early they missed Hermione who for some reason overslept. They made it to the Great Hall and had even managed to eat a rather peaceful meal. Then they heard the scream, a Hermione-sounding scream.

Turning around both boys noticed Malfoy and his goons standing at the entrance to the hall laughing like skunks. The cause of their laughter was due to Hermione Granger standing there stark raving naked and screaming at the top of her lungs. She had even dropped her book bag in shock and was desperately trying to hide her naughty bits but without much success.

Harry's and Neville's mouth dropped in shock as did the mouths of many others. Flitwick had quickly come over and helped Hermione by spelling a robe on her and then deducting 50 points EACH from Malfoy and goons for…well for casting that shameless curse on poor Miss Granger. Of course they denied everything.

Snape and McGonagall had arrived and an argument broke out. Meanwhile Professor Sprout took pity on the still hysterical Hermione and led her off to the Infirmary as no doubt she was in need of a calming draught.

By the time Ron arrived, it was all over and Harry and Neville had already left for their first class. An irate Ron had about two minutes to grab some toast and make a few bacon sandwiches before leaving for class. He was wolfing them down all the way to the Charms classroom.

Naturally when he arrived he started yelling at Harry for not waking him up completely ignoring the fact that Seamus and Dean saw him sleeping and just left him in dreamland. But it was "Harry's job" to not only wake Ron up but to make sure he got out of bed. He was also not supposed to leave (or rather go anywhere) without Ron or Hermione by his side and Harry knew it.

They had Charms with the Ravenclaws, many of whom were annoyed to hear his rant as he always made so much noise when ranting. But then they, like the rest of the school, were used to it. They didn't like it and nothing could be done about it (thanks to Dumbledore) but it was very grating.

Flitwick had just entered the classroom to hear the tail end of the conversation where Ron took 20 points from Gryffindor for Harry's failure to do his job. Before Flitwick could make a comment in defense of Harry (wow for once a teacher was going to stand up for Harry) Ron did something not only unexpected but very, very…well disgusting. He took a dump in the Charms classroom. He even pulled down his trousers so that he would not soil them. It was a very big dump and the smell….

All hell then broke loose as several people lost their breakfast and the usually even-tempered Flitwick lost something other than his breakfast (although it was a fight not to). Flitwick then vanished the offensive fecal matter and started dragging Ron off to see the Headmaster. He first dismissed the class and advised the "sick" to go to the Infirmary.

Ron's only excuse was to put the blame solely where it belonged. "It's Harry's fault" he said without giving a credible reason why.

Before the second class of the day started a quarter of the school had heard about the "incident" and by lunch most of the school had heard all of the gory details. This was due not only to gossip but the appearance of a very angry Ron storming into the Great Hall and yelling at Harry. Guess what happened yet again.

Yep, again in front of most of the school. Lunches were lost, screams of disgust were heard and theories abounded (mostly in Ravenclaw) why it had happened. The Slytherins were laughing so hard that some of the students had to be taken to the Infirmary and be given calming draughts. And then it got only better when Hermione Granger walked in the hall, saw what was happening and before she could yell at Harry (well when didn't she) she started chastising Ron.

Ron immediately and rather viciously struck back, calling her names much worse than Mudblood. She in turn started screaming out a few nasty (but true) comments at Ron and then the next thing everybody knew all of her clothes disappeared.

Several of the younger year boys (like the Creevey Brothers) thought they had died and gone to heaven because here was a NAKED GIRL (even if it was Hermione Granger) standing practically in front of them. Draco Malfoy was laughing so hard he fell off his seat and injured his head. No names would be mentioned but two certain fifth year Slytherins goons started doing… well the "polite" term for it is self-abuse because they were too excited by the nudity to control themselves. Then more screaming started in earnest at that table and hexes started flying.

What remained of the luncheon meal erupted into pure pandemonium. Classes were cancelled for the rest of the day, especially when Ron once again did the dirty deed.

Harry was blamed for it, his wand was thoroughly checked and he was found guiltless. He was still going to be blamed but then again as both he and Neville said it unison "What else is new and there is nothing you can do about it."

Due to all the confusion Dumbledore forgot to close down the owlery and many students had managed to send out letters home and even a few to the _Daily Prophet_.

Harry tried to start a rumor that the Weasley Twins were responsible for this and usually they would have been or at least taken credit for it, but there was no way they would this time once their mother found out.

The next three days the same thing happened again – several times. Every time Hermione tried to say something condescending or attempted to force her views on someone, her clothes simply disappeared. They were usually found in the Slytherin common room for some unexplained reason and Draco was blamed.

Every time Ron opened his big, fat, bigoted mouth about something or abused his Prefect status, well…it was "Potty time" or "Potter's doing it to me" time. At least half the school was unanimous in agreeing that they had always known that Weasley was "full of it" but they had no idea he was "that full" considering the amount of evacuations he was doing.

So Harry went to sleep every night very happy and, dare it be said, contented. Then he started putting two and two together and wondered if he really was responsible for doing these things. Well there was only one way to find out and that was to do a lot more wishful thinking.

Draco Malfoy was the next victim of the unexplainable. Every time he said the word Mudblood his nose grew 1/32nd of an inch. Harry was quite surprised (and delighted) to hear that for some reason Draco's nose had grown ¾ of an inch in one day.

Then there was his hair. The fifth year boys were rudely awakened one morning by Draco's screams. It seemed his hair had turned frizzier and bushier than Granger's overnight. There was no reason for these things to be happening, Harry Potter's wand was once again checked and he was found to be innocent and last, but definitely not least and even more unexplainable, the same thing had happened to Lucius Malfoy who of course hadn't seen or come near Harry since the "hearing" when he taunted Harry and told him he would be going the same way as his parents.

An investigation was started and after a week there were no answers. Also no one had connected the bizarre happenings with such things as Hermione being…herself, Ron being… himself and the Malfoys – you guessed it – just being themselves.

Only Harry Potter knew the reasons for these happenings. He wished it all and it had come true. He wondered if it would work on anyone and anywhere. He hadn't been near Lucius Malfoy so did that mean that if he wished Voldie to show up at the Ministry of Magic or the main street in Diagon Alley dressed in a ballerina's pink tutu, wearing a very large purple cowboy hat, 5 inch stiletto high heeled chartreuse leather boots and singing "I'm a little teapot…" if it would happen.

So he did, but it didn't. He had been wishing it continually for five days and it hadn't happened. Maybe it was just too much to wish for but some of the other things he was "wishing for" were happening so he was happy.

One day every time Minerva McGonagall's lips thinned or she started to chastise someone or acted unfairly, she broke wind – badly and loud enough to wake the dead.

Every time the Weasley Twins played a prank, they burped, uncontrollably until the effects of the pranks dissipated.

Every time Ginny Weasley warned a girl away from "her Harry" she got an uncontrollable itch in a very public and humiliating place which lasted for five minutes and which had to be scratched no matter where she was.

Every time someone bullied a helpless person, they broke out in purple spots. If they kept it up especially doing it to the same person, eventually their hair fell out.

People were starting to get suspicious and, as usual, Harry was blamed. So he had to wish for something to happen to him that would be noticeable…but not all that bad. And Neville too should benefit from what Harry had in mind.

Thus, every time someone took points off of Harry his…well let's just say that he became in need of having to wear a codpiece, much like the ones Henry VIII wore. In other words his Willy, his John Thomas, pride and joy, family jewels, woo hoo, wiener, doodad – oh hell his penis got a hard on of such epic proportions in length and width that not only was it very noticeable under his robes it was…awesomely remarkable. He also had great difficulty walking.

In Neville's case, every time someone, even a teacher, picked on him unfairly, he had the same problem.

As usual, Harry's wand (the holly and phoenix feather one you pervert) was thoroughly checked, he was found innocent but was still under suspicion. He did however get a congratulatory but very, very lewd letter from Sirius informing him that he was "Finally catching up to his Godfather's standard of excellence."

Ron, Hermione and Draco were still having their "problems" and despite many complaints and even a few editorials written in the news media, they were not punished. Harry got a detention with Filch every time he got a boner bigger than 10 inches. Mercifully Neville was not punished even for the one time after Potions when he walked (or staggered) out with a truly remarkable 18 incher. He got applause and a sprained back but no detention. Professor Sinistra had walked by him, saw his condition and awarded him 25 points without saying why.

By Halloween fear had gripped Hogwarts especially after Snape started sneezing uncontrollably every time he glared at Harry or took points from a Gryffindor. It is rather dangerous to sneeze (especially since his sneezes "sprayed" and nearly made the room shake due to their intensity) in a potions lab especially when brewing is being done, so eventually Snape was obliged to cast a bubble-headed charm on himself whenever he had a class with Gryffindors or lurking about in the Great Hall during meal times.

Now it was time to have a go at Dumbledore. Maybe he had to work his way up to more powerful wizards before he could embarrass Voldie. But what should he do to Dumbles? It had to be humiliating and seen by everyone. It had to be something he did all the time so that he would have to stop doing it and it couldn't be traced back to Harry.

Oh yeah, that was perfect.

The Halloween feast was in full gluttony mode. As was traditional, Dumbledore was over-indulging in consuming sweets even more than a firstie at their first Hogwarts Halloween feast. As usual he was enjoying himself, making witty comments (although his were much better than Ron's) as well as watching what certain people were up to.

Finally a very glum-looking Severus Snape took his place at the table only to be greeted by Dumbledore with a "Severus my boy, it is about time you arriv…"

It was the wording of "my boy" a phrase which had always irritated not only Harry Potter but many, many others such as Snape, that caused Dumbledore to vomit up his meal. Doing it once could be passed off as an unfortunate incident or, as Fred Weasley said, "He was looking right at Snape and that is enough to make an Acromantula gag."

At the moment the only persons Dumbledore referred to at Hogwarts as "my boy" or "my dear boy" were Snape and Harry. There were some days when Dumbledore did not have a conversation with Snape so he didn't say "my boy" which was causing him to vomit. However, once he attended an Order meeting and started greeting and/or ordering people around, there was a lot of cleanup being done. It was the same when he went to the Ministry on business and he my-boyed his way through the building.

It took about a week before Dumbledore realized he was a victim, but Harry knew beforehand and was happy.

However, it is an unwritten rule that Harry Potter is not allowed to be happy. Even if he managed to acquire a few moments of joy, laughter or just an absence of physical, mental or emotional pain, it was paid for with some sort of physical, mental or emotional pain befalling him. That was just the way the world worked and (say it in unison) "there is nothing you can do about it."

Now some of the victims were getting their comeuppance. After much investigation and scientific study done by the Weasley Twins and several Ravenclaws, it was noticed that every time Ron abused his Prefect position or said something nasty he had…an accident.

Flitwick handed Albus an official report done by his Ravenclaws (for extra credit of course) in cooperation with the Weasley Twins (a truly historic moment) opining why Ron was having his accidents, Hermione was experiencing her problem and Draco and Lucius Malfoy had the most impossible hair ever possessed by a Malfoy as well as a nose growth problem. From there it was easy to link the farting, sneezing and the Headmaster's noticeable vomiting with the four others and come to the conclusion that they had all been cursed, probably by Sirius Black.

They couldn't think of anything that could be making Harry and Neville have their…er… incidents, so therefore it was the general consensus that they were doing it themselves to boost their egos and because they were shamelessly taking advantage of the misfortunes of others to show off, they should be severely punished. Suggestions were even made as to what the punishments should be, the most popular ones being that Harry should be kicked off the Gryffindor Quidditch team and Gryffindor should lose all of their house points (castration had even been mentioned by Snape and some Slytherins).

The fact that nothing concerning the problems of those bullying Ravenclaws or Ginny was not missed but Dumbledore, being the $#*&*^#& that he is, chose to ignore it and awarded the Ravenclaws 150 points for their research.

Nobody gave a second thought to Umbridge as most of the student body and staff was just happy and relieved that she was gone.

Meanwhile McGonagall was given the task to decide which punishment should be meted out to Harry and (the truly innocent) Neville. She didn't want her House to lose all of their points yet they needed Harry Potter's skill to win at Quidditch. Dumbledore gave her a deadline to make up her mind.

So she called a rare in-house meeting and asked the opinion of her House as to what they would prefer to be done. Harry and Neville were excluded from the meeting as they had no rights whatsoever but what else was new.

After much heated discussion it was decided that Harry would be kicked off the Quidditch team. As he had always done when Harry wasn't around, Ron stressed the fact that the ONLY reason Harry succeeded as a seeker was because he had that awesome broom. If his broom was confiscated and given to his successor, then they could still win at Quidditch.

It was also his "wisdom of Solomon" (someone else's comment as the only Solomon Ron ever heard of was the Quidditch player Solomon Pickwick) that every time Potter or Squib boy acted "rudely" they should be kicked in the family jewels and a list of volunteers should take turns following them around to immediately mete out the punishments.

A vote was taken and Ron's proposals were nearly unanimously endorsed. Guess who was first on the list of the "kicking volunteers" as well as trying out for Harry's seeker position? Well Ginny made the team as seeker but Ron also made it as keeper but she got the broom and he didn't so ha ha.

After the decision had been made, Harry and Neville were told and a sample kick was given to each (by Ron) as a warning and foretaste if their behavior didn't stop or at least improve. McGonagall missed two full class days as she couldn't stop doing you-know-what and was pronounced a public menace by Dumbledore. She had even had to cast a bubble-headed charm on herself so she could breathe in her quarters.

Harry was not going to take this latest insult and unfairness lying down. He wished the "enlargements" off of him and Neville and did some more wishing on others.

Ginny, Angelina, Katie and Alicia all came down with a serious case of crotch rot, their faces broke out in zits from hell and every time they had a "naughty thought" about any boy (or girl) they belched louder than a troll.

Fred, George and Lee Jordan (just because he was their best friend, dorm mate and fellow conspirator) all woke up with shrunken genitalia. Their junk had reverted back to pre-puberty size and, just to be thorough, every time they peed it burned. After two days of suffering they went to Madame Pomfrey who after examining them asked if they had been involved with any females – in any way. As they had all snogged the three girls on the Quidditch team and they all had crotch rot it was easily explained away. They were given potions to take but it didn't do any good.

Well it did one good thing, from Harry's point of view at least. The team was at war with each other, practices were nightmares and Gryffindor would never win a single game as long as those seven people were a member of the team. In her first game Ginny did not come close to catching the snitch and Ron missed every goal and once even fell off his broom and Hooch just managed to save him before he hit the ground.

She did it only out of habit and because it was her job. She was one of the few people who had actually been outraged that Potter had been thrown off the team. She lit into her old friend McGonagall with a fierceness which could only be termed as frightening. Hell even Voldie would have cowered at her wrath.

"Your House deserves not to win another game until Harry is back," she had screamed at McGonagall.

"Now Hoochie, I really didn't want to do it but…well I asked for suggestions and a vote and it was the general consensus that Potter…"

"Be betrayed and stabbed in the back by that bastard, greedy, selfish, jealous spawn of the _'community broom'_ (because everybody rode her) Molly Prewett," she screamed back. "And you let it happen didn't you? As usual you just let that boy be tortured and looked the other way…all for the _Greater Good_ and schemes of Albus Dumbledore."

"Hoochie, please…"

"No Minnie. This is the last straw. As do you sow so shall you reap or whatever that Muggle saying is. Did you know that Snape, Sprout and Flitwick treated their entire Houses to a butter beer and cake party when they heard? Well they did. The rest of the staff and most of the student body are busy making wagers on just how badly Gryffindor will lose."

"Harry Potter is an excellent player but he is not that good. Even James wasn't that good."

" _ **Harry is not James**_ , Minerva my girl. I think you will find that some poetic justice is being mete out due to all of the _'problems'_ certain people are having. I wouldn't be surprised if Lady Hogwarts has succeeded in freeing herself enough from Albus' oh so very illegal spells and is now punishing…"

"For the last time Rolanda, Albus Dumbledore does not use dark magic to achieve his… goals and James Potter was the best Quidditch…"

"OH FUCK JAMES POTTER AND SIRIUS BLACK – but then again you did, didn't you," a very angry Rolanda Hooch shouted before turning her back on her colleague and walking out of the room and their friendship of nearly 60 years.

A stunned Minerva McGonagall couldn't move or even think for a moment due to the outburst. She wanted to get very angry and storm after Hooch. It was not the first time she had been accused of having a more than Head of House/teacher-student relationship with James Potter and Sirius Black. Of course it was all untrue, ridiculous, scandalous and…very, very hurtful. But that _had been the gossip_ back in the day.

It was said because she let them get away with anything short of murder. There was also a nasty rumor going around that both boys had hinted it was true WHEN IT DEFINITELY WASN'T. It still hurt and Albus had let it happen as it amused him and %#*#$&^& that he was and still is, he knew it severely hurt McGonagall.

Anybody who knew her, and that included Rolanda Hooch, knew that she was only obeying Albus' orders. Potter and Black were the heirs to some of the best, oldest, wealthiest and powerful Houses in Magical Britain and he was carefully cultivating them, seducing them to his side, protecting them from the Dark and recruiting them to fight against…Tom…and his evil ways.

For some reason, which of course he would never, ever reveal to even his most faithful followers, Albus Dumbledore had determined that Harry Potter would be brought up in a certain way, treated and _toughened up_ according to the needs of the Greater Good and no one could ask why or defend and help him because Albus said so. His word was law, he knew what he was doing and that was that.

It also constantly broke her heart as she knew, like Harry and Neville, there was nothing that could be done about it.

Chapter 3 – Holiday Mischief

The Christmas holidays were fast approaching. Sirius had promised Harry that he would be coming to Grimmauld Place to spend the holidays. "Dumbledore has already given his permission," Sirius had happily told him before he left for school. Why Sirius had to have Dumbledore's permission regarding anything to do with Harry was still a mystery and just another thing which would never be explained to him.

He had not received any letters from Sirius since he came to Hogwarts except for the one praising him for acting like Sirius with the boners. Hedwig delivered them but there was no response. It was similar to the summer. Hermione had explained it saying that with Umbridge ruling the school it was probably much too dangerous to send let alone receive a letter from Sirius and Harry was just being selfish and stupid, not to mention childish (so why did she mention it then) to expect Sirius to risk so much to cater to Harry.

But Umbridge was only around for a few weeks before her demise so what was Sirius' excuse for not writing or at least sending a letter word through someone like Dumbledore or McGonagall?

Harry had long ago given up trying to make Hermione see just how bad his life was and how lucky that both she and Ron had loving parents and a good home. Ron was too busy being jealous to appreciate what he had and Hermione, well it looked to Harry that she had brushed off her parents and their feelings since she found out she was a witch and started at Hogwarts.

Not that he was wishing it on her, but one day Hermione would learn the hard way what she was now taking for granted. Someday her parents would die (hopefully of old age), and she would miss them terribly. Or another alternative could possibly happen. One day she might be forced to make a choice – her parents or the Magical World.

Despite his life being so carefully and almost totally controlled, Harry did manage to learn a few things by listening, sneaking around in his cloak late at night and just being very observant. Dobby had also managed to find him some answers to questions. Therefore, he knew some things which even the self-proclaimed all-knowing, "if-I-don't-know-about-it-then-it-probably-isn't- worth-knowing" Hermione Granger.

After Hogwarts most Muggleborns went back to the Muggle World to live and work. They simply couldn't get a decent job in this world. Those that did remain, were either very exceptional individuals who had important and powerful mentors or, like his very talented mother, they married a Pureblood or more than likely a Half-blood and used that family to gain entry into the British Magical society. Or they died, were killed (like in the last war) or often immigrated to another country to have a decent life and career.

At this point, Harry believed that Hermione would be doing the first thing. Because she was "helping Dumbledore help Harry" by controlling and spying on him along with the Weasleys, no doubt Dumbledore had promised "opportunities" either by arranging a mentorship with someone other than he (well because he was Dumbledore and didn't have the time or inclination for such things) or, more than likely, he was going to arrange for her to marry someone. Of course that someone would be a Weasley, most likely Ron but maybe Fred or Percy. Yes Percy would be more suitable to her but he couldn't see Percy willingly marrying Hermione and potentially harming his career by marrying a Muggleborn.

Fred might do it for a lark but more likely because he suspected Fred would use her for business or even political reasons. Harry could sense that Fred was an opportunist and much more sensible and cunning than anyone gave him credit for. Hermione could be very useful due to her talents, hard work and her naiveté. He wouldn't be surprised if the Hat had wanted to put Fred in Slytherin.

But she would probably end up with Ron. Ron was lazy and jealous. He was also a bit of a sadist as he enjoyed belittling not only Hermione but people like Neville, the Creevey Brothers, anybody socially weaker than he was, Slytherins and most especially Harry. Ron started the fights between himself and Hermione. Despite the Twins constantly saying that they fought like an old married couple and were therefore destined to get together, Harry didn't believe it nor did Neville or anybody else with eyes, ears or a brain.

The only things Ron and Hermione had in common were they were Gryffindors, they were "helping Dumbledore" and they had custody and possession of Harry. Take him out of the equation and there would be no reason for them to even talk to each other except for Ron to demand to copy her notes and homework. Oh and to make fun of and verbally torture her like he always did and always would do.

He could see Ron marrying Hermione because Dumbledore said so. She would have a career and bring in most (if not all) of the money. She would keep house and pop out some kids while juggling work, house and kids, as well as being expected to do her wifely duties and satisfy Ron's sexual needs. Ron and sex in the same sentence was an ugly thought that always made Harry cringe and he tried not to think about it.

Molly Weasley would always criticize Hermione's housekeeping, child raising abilities and tell her she was selfish in wanting to have a career outside of being a wife and mother "the most important job a witch could have." Hermione would never be able to do anything to please Molly and Ron would just laugh and egg her on.

Or the other and most horrifying scenario for Hermione at least would be that she would be a stay at home wife and mother, always barefoot and pregnant. There wouldn't be money for "useless things" like books, Ron wouldn't lift a finger to help, and Molly would still be criticizing every little thing. Hermione would be downtrodden and her spirit totally crushed as she would never get to fulfill any of her dreams, have no accomplishments or be given credit for anything (Molly would see to that) and Ron would still be insulting and belittling her on a constant basis. Again there was that horrific thought of Ron and his deviant sexual desires.

Hermione's only escape from that life would be to just up and die or commit suicide, hopefully after ax-murdering as many Weasleys as possible. Molly would probably criticize her for doing that wrong too.

And Hermione would have probably given up her parents as she would basically abandon them, much like she did now, to have "her magic and pursue her dreams." It would be something out of one of Petunia's ladies' magazines which Harry picked out of the trash and read to relieve his boredom and try to discover how the female of the species thought.

The only good thing so far this year was that Ron and Hermione had been so busy with their "problems" that they were slacking in their job of controlling and ratting out Harry. There had been times when he actually got to talk to someone other than a Gryffindor. Granted, many people were anti-Harry because they (or rather their parents) thought Harry was an attention-seeking liar regarding Voldie's return. But there had been some like Luna Lovegood who talked to him in a fairly civil manner.

They had "officially met" on the train this year but unofficially they had met during Harry's third year on one of his nightly sneak outs. He had found her stuck to a wall wearing nothing but her panties because she had been "pranked" by some of her housemates. He had rescued her, walked her to the Infirmary to be treated for exposure and they had agreed to become "secret friends" as Luna said that since she wasn't on the "Dumbledore-approved list" she would just get in trouble if it was known that Harry had met and befriended her.

She had met Neville during her first year and he was one of the few people who befriended her and the three of them had managed, despite all odds, to become another "trio" which Neville had named "the notice-us-nots" and mercifully no one (of any importance) had.

Susan Bones and her sidekick Hannah Abbott had sought him out. He knew Susan did because her Aunt Amelia wanted "answers and information" concerning Voldie's return and Hannah just followed Susan everywhere. Besides he noticed her eyeing Neville on occasion. Neville might have a shot at getting a date with Hannah but Harry knew that even if Susan liked him he would never "be allowed" to have a non-Dumbledore approved relationship. That was a heartbreaking pity as Susan was a pleasant girl, with a nice personality and a body that would make a sane boy go crazy.

But then Harry was crazy to begin with so why shouldn't he have a go at least wishing for a date with a beautiful girl.

But then the holidays had arrived and he was informed that he was going to be staying at Hogwarts because it was too dangerous for him to leave the school because of Voldemort.

Dragon dung! That wasn't the reason and Harry knew it. Apparently Dumbledore had other plans and then again it was always a lot of fun to make Harry miserable. Mercifully, all the Weasleys were going to Grimmauld Place so Harry would be left in peace in Gryffindor Tower.

He didn't hear from Sirius regarding his being forced to remain at Hogwarts and he wondered what reason Dumbledore had given Sirius for the Weasleys coming but not Harry. It was very disturbing and for some reason Harry really, really wanted an answer this time. Hedwig was out of the question for delivering a letter so Harry got another great idea.

Dobby knew where Grimmauld Place was and could get in the house. However, if Dumbledore knew that Harry had succeeded in delivering a letter to Sirius Dobby would get in trouble and probably be banned from ever helping Harry again.

Unknown to everybody (especially Hermione) Dobby had secretly bonded with Harry almost immediately after being freed from the Malfoys. He had finally told Harry the summer between his third and fourth year as he had been afraid of rejection. It had been Harry's idea for Dobby to "get a job at Hogwarts" to be near and of use to him.

The biggest problem they had was if Dumbledore found out Dobby was his bonded elf he would be forced to un-bond with him or something stupid like that and/or Hermione would make his life even more of a living hell than she usually did for "forcing Dobby into slavery." It was a no win situation for Harry at least.

Therefore a cunning plan had to be made and executed. Harry was going to get himself another house elf who no one would suspect and use her to hand deliver a letter to Sirius without the Order or any Weasley and definitely not Dumbledore finding out and Dobby had the perfect candidate - Winky.

Dobby brought Winky into Harry's presence and Harry very nicely asked her if she would become his elf. She fainted dead away – no doubt from shock at the honor as Dobby quickly told Harry. But that wasn't the real reason as Winky was already a bonded elf but had been commanded to keep it a secret. The last thing she needed was to be exposed and especially exposed to Harry Potter.

So the little elf had to think fast while pretending to be in her dead faint how to make this work. There was a way to be "double-bonded" practiced by her former masters and hopefully Dobby wouldn't know or notice it. But how could she get Dobby out of the room?

Luck was on her side as Harry told Dobby to leave so that if questioned he could truthfully say he didn't know anything. With Dobby gone Winky was able to pull it off. As Harry's bonded elf Winky could travel to any place where Harry could possibly go so she thus knew how to get into Grimmauld Place. Her main master would be so happy to hear about this development!

Winky also had a suggestion to make. To further prevent exposure Winky would rent a special post owl in Diagon Alley. She would then take the owl through the wards of the house and see that it got to Buckbeak's room and would wait for Sirius Black. Sirius had to feed Bucky every day and usually spent a lot of time "caring" for the bird as well as polishing off a bottle of fire whiskey while telling the bird his problems. The owl would wait until Sirius either arrived or sobered up enough to see the owl, take and read the letter.

And that was what Winky did. It was late at night when the owl arrived in Buckbeak's room and Winky used a reviving charm to wake up Sirius. He was quite surprised to receive a letter – any letter – especially one from Harry as Dumbledore had specially charmed the house when he cast the Fidelius to limit mail delivery to only a very few.

Harry had written a short but to the point letter basically asking why (1) Sirius hadn't contacted him at all either by answering his letters or doing a late night floo call; (2) hadn't contacted him using another person such as sending a letter to him addressed to Hermione or a neutral party; and (3) WHY THE HELL WASN'T DUMBLEDORE LETTING HIM SPEND CHRISTMAS WITH HIS GODFATHER AND WHY SIRIUS WASN'T DOING ANYTHING ABOUT IT.

"I want answers to these questions and I want them from you either in person or via secure floo call. I will be alone in the Tower during the holidays so will be able to receive a message any time after 11:00 p.m. If I don't hear from you then it means that either you are a ball-less bastard who grovels at Dumbledore's feet worse than a Death Eater cowering before Voldie and/or you don't give a damn about me."

The owl watched Sirius read the letter then motioned that it wanted to be let out the window and fly back to its home. A slightly befuddled Sirius let the owl out and conferred with Buckbeak regarding the situation. As usual the bird listened and then looked Sirius in the eye as if to say "You know what you should do, so do it bonehead" and as usual Sirius did know what he should do and then didn't do it.

Dumbledore had told Sirius that he wouldn't allow Harry to come to Grimmauld Place for Christmas because the boy had been behaving inappropriately. Also the Weasleys all _needed_ to be here and since Harry had been treating Ron very badly, Ron needed a break from Harry. Hopefully Harry would change his ways, apologize to Ron for his bad behavior and maybe – just maybe – Harry would be allowed to spend August at Grimmauld Place after he had recharged the wards at Privet Drive.

Although Sirius was really sad that Harry wasn't allowed to come for Christmas, there was nothing that anyone could do about it because (altogether now) it was the will of Albus Dumbledore and was for the Greater Good. Case closed. Hopefully it would teach Harry a lesson and he would go back to being a good little Gryffindor and be allowed to spend time with his beloved godfather. So he ignored it and went off to find another bottle of booze.

Harry had been in error about one thing, namely, he wasn't going to be spending Christmas alone in Gryffindor Tower. At the last minute Hermione decided to stay and do some intensive preparation for her OWLS. She informed Harry that she was also doing this for his own good as he needed all the help he could get and this time would allow him to study without distraction (meaning Ron) and more importantly, to keep him out of trouble.

Naturally she expected to be profusely thanked so Harry did the minimum of giving her the requisite groveling thanks while trying not to look too disappointed. He was very disappointed because since he was stuck at Hogwarts he had made plans of his own which he couldn't do because of Hermione being his shadow.

He also knew that Dumbledore had probably ordered her to stay because she and Ron had been too concerned with their "problems" to give 100% of their attention to Harry. If she expected to become Head Girl she had better buckle down and do her job!

As soon as the rest of the school left Hermione dragged Harry back to the Tower and informed him of the schedule. She even gave him a handout outlining in great detail what they were going to be doing. Nearly every waking moment was filled with Hermione's plans.

Basically with the exception of allowing eight hours of sleep per night, a half hour to shower and dress and the occasional bathroom break for each of them, they were going to be together and there would be no escape. Dumbledore still had the cloak and the map and Hermione _**knew**_ that Harry didn't know how to do the disillusion charm (even though he really did) so he couldn't get away.

But as the poet said _"the best laid plans of mice and men…"_ and it would prove true for Hermione because she had forgotten one little thing. As soon as she went into extreme harassment mode her clothes disappeared.

For appearances sake Harry immediately covered his eyes as well as turning his head away so that he would not be forced to look at his friend's shame. She went screaming off to her dorm room to get some clothes then came back down and started again. After about 15 minutes Harry was again covering his eyes, Hermione was screaming, running to get clothes, etc. After it happened again, Harry was ordered to just start on his holiday homework.

When they went down to lunch Hermione reported her problem to McGonagall as well as asking that someone be sent to the Slytherin fifth year boys room to retrieve her clothes. McGonagall had offered to assign an elf to Hermione to not only fetch her clothes (as something like this happened at least twice a day and sometimes more) and to remove the spells, hexes and curses which were placed on the clothes by laughing Slytherins if they found the clothes before the elves did.

Of course, the girl had refused as she did not agree with what she considered to be slavery and once again started ranting to McGonagall about the evils of oppression and that Hogwarts should set an example by freeing and paying all their elves, blab, blab, blab. As usual, her clothes disappeared and McGonagall had to transfigure a plate into a set of robes for the girl to wear until an elf fetched her clothes.

Harry had already started eating. To be honest it was getting boring seeing Hermione naked since it happened too often and as she was usually in his presence it just wasn't interesting anymore. Considering Harry was a normal teenage boy and he was getting bored showed just how often Hermione "slipped."

Ron was usually present also but he always enjoyed it if only to make rude comments, his "problem" had evolved and whenever Hermione lost her clothes he would piss his pants as well as doing the other so he was busy with his own difficulties.

Neither of them had learned anything even after Dumbledore had advised them of the Ravenclaw findings. Hermione was getting better at controlling herself in public but not around Harry as it was too much of a habit to stop.

So Harry completed his homework before Christmas Day. Since he had finished late in the afternoon on the 24th Hermione allowed him to have some quiet time before the evening meal while she checked it over. "Hopefully you didn't make too many mistakes and won't have to redo it so that we can begin our studying on Boxing Day," she had told him. Apparently she was giving him off on Christmas Day probably because she had something she wanted to do.

Because he had finished early, she was also allowing him to goof off the two hours before dinner. In other words he got to stroll around the school without her as long as he kept out of trouble. Had he had his broom (Ginny the bitch took it with her so Harry couldn't fly during his holiday) or his cloak (apparently Dumbledore wasn't planning on giving it back) or even the map he would have definitely looked for some trouble to get into if only on principle and out of sheer boredom.

Only a few members of the staff and less than 10 students were residing in the castle for the holidays. However Harry knew that all of the portraits, most of the ghosts, Peeves and even the suits of armor watched him and reported his movements to Dumbledore, so he had to behave himself.

He went to the kitchen and was immediately bombarded by dozens of helpful elves. He only wanted some cocoa and the chance to talk to Dobby. After he went to bed he summoned Dobby who usually took him to the Room of Requirement so he could do some private research and just get away from it all. Dobby had to stay with him to alert him if Hermione decided to check on him during the night. As soon as she left her room and made her way towards Harry's dorm, Dobby would grab Harry and whisk him back to his bed so that Hermione could do her middle of the night check on him.

Apparently she had been doing such a check since the beginning of the school year to make sure Harry was snug in his bed and not getting into mischief. It was on Dumbledore's orders and since Ron usually slept through the night and lied about doing it, now Hermione had to do his work for that task also. She would be making the report to Dumbledore and Ron, who purposely did it so he could sleep, had a good secret laugh at the Mudblood.

Of course she knew he was doing it on purpose and he knew that she knew he was doing it but then again, "There is nothing you can do about it." It was just another thing he did to annoy her and _keep her in her place._

The night she found him missing she reported it to Dumbledore and that was why Harry lost his cloak and map. From what Dobby had heard, Dumbledore had both of them securely locked away so Dobby could not retrieve them for Harry so he was basically stuck in his bed every night as he couldn't risk being found by first Umbridge and now Pimpo who had made it his business to do a nightly patrol near Gryffindor Tower. He had even set traps to catch Harry.

No it was a conspiracy with the world united against Harry and everyone, including his "loving, caring godfather" were in on it.

Harry decided that if he did not hear from Sirius by end of day on Boxing Day, Harry was going to send him a "prank letter" and scare the hell out of him. It was guaranteed to scare the hell out of Sirius and probably everybody else. He would get into lots of trouble but then Sirius always complained that since Harry didn't prank James was probably rolling around in his grave as well as being very disappointed in Harry.

Christmas Eve and Day passed without incident or word from Sirius. Hermione had, of course, made comments and corrections on Harry's work and he was allowed to do it after he opened his presents on Christmas so that he could start bright and early on Boxing Day to do their studying.

As soon as she gave him back his homework and informed him of their schedule, her clothes disappeared since she was being condescending. The now traditional scream and run to her dorm room was accomplished, but this time Harry made no attempt to play the gentleman and he simply had glared at her.

He had more than a usual reason for doing so as he had worked hard on his homework and didn't think anything was wrong with it. But there had been in Hermione's opinion. It had been "too good" for something that Harry Potter did so she had to "dumb it down" a bit – for appearances sake. Sad to say this was not the first time such a thing had happened. He had noticed it over the years but since "there was nothing he could do about it" he had to remain being an average student. Even when he tried to improve and do better, he was not allowed.

God Almighty he hated all of them. He had to think some more wishes up and then send Sirius that letter.

It was late night on Boxing Day when Sirius had finally staggered up to "care for" Buckbeak after a day spent eating, drinking and fooling around with Remus, Tonks and Hestia Jones. Sirius was greeted by the same owl who had delivered Harry's letter to him. An already sloshed Sirius wondered how the hell the owl had made it through the wards once and now twice. It should be impossible but here was that owl again. He hadn't reported it to Dumbledore only because he had been too busy annoying people, doing the odd prank or two with the Twins and because Dumbledore had been ignoring him.

Sirius had been pissed when informed that Harry didn't want to come if the Weasleys were there but then Harry had written the real reason and was demanding answers. Sirius just ignored it as he couldn't go against Dumbledore's wishes and orders so he cozied up to the Twins and talked "shop" or rather the fine art of pranking and the shop they were going to open after graduation. They told him that Harry had invested in their shop and that had impressed Sirius. Maybe there was hope for the boy after all.

Sad to say he had more in common with the Twins than with Harry but that wasn't his fault. Well actually it was because he had gone after Peter instead of seeing to the safety of Harry or doing his duty as a godfather but then, well then he had paid for it by spending 12 years in Azkaban.

He conveniently forgot that it had also consigned Harry to a hell on earth but… It was all in the past and one day, as soon as he was able, he would make it all up to Harry. He really would. Just not this Christmas or the next but someday – someday when Voldemort was well and truly gone, he would make it all up to Harry.

The owl wouldn't leave until Sirius took the letter and read it. He really didn't feel like reading it because no doubt Harry would be whining and complaining about having to spend Christmas at Hogwarts when Sirius had promised him they'd be together. But Harry had to be punished for fighting with Ron and making people choose between him and Ron and since Dumbledore had sided with the Weasleys…well Sirius had no choice but to obey.

Sirius had gotten Harry some really great presents but he had not been allowed to send them. Instead Ron would be tasked with giving Harry his presents _**but only if Harry first apologized to Ron**_ for whatever it was he had done to insult Ron, would Harry be allowed to have the gifts. It was damned unfair but Dumbledore had ordered it to teach Harry a lesson and there was nothing that Sirius could do about it.

Therefore, Harry had to change his attitude and start shaping up to do whatever it was Dumbledore wanted. No one, especially Sirius, knew what that was but everybody just accepted it because Dumbledore said so. If there was one thing Sirius Black knew it was that you NEVER CROSSED DUMBLEDORE.

The owl glared at Sirius who took the letter and read it. Harry had found a spell that would make a picture appear once the entire letter had been read. The letter said:

" _Sirius:_

 _Once again you have abandoned me and despite my desperate pleas refuse to listen or help me. Hell you won't even answer my Christmas letter. So it seems that you, like everybody else,_ _ **chooses to believe lies about me**_ _and_ _ **. DON' .!**_ _Do you know how bad that makes me feels or are you just an insensitive % &#&^&^&#?" _

" _Hermione 'informed me' about what I have to do to get a fucking present from anybody even you. I can't 'apologize' to Ron because I haven't done anything to him that deserves an apology, yet he has done nothing but badmouthed me since we started school this year. He has slandered my name (but what else is new and everybody else does it too), taken points from Gryffindor and blamed me, abused his Prefect position so badly that it is a scandal at school. If you gave Hermione a shot of Veritaserum so that she would be forced to tell the truth, she would agree with me about Ron's bad behavior."_

Yep, it was a whiny letter from Harry and Sirius really wanted to just vanish it away but felt _**compelled**_ to continue, especially since that owl was still watching him. What Harry was saying was all _**probably true**_ but it only made Sirius feel guilty about how bad Harry was being treated. However, since he couldn't do anything about it, Harry just had to grin and bear it and do whatever Dumbledore commanded. The sooner he learned it the better. _But Sirius had to keep reading it because a compulsion charm had been placed on it by Winky._

" _I am sick and tired of being treated like this. Did you know that it was Ron's idea to kick me off the team, confiscate my broom and to kick me and Neville in the nuts if 'we showed off' – which we were not doing as we have been cursed just like other certain people. Hell Ron's still pulling his pants off and taking a dump and now even a piss – in public – and he hasn't even lost any points, well except from Snape. If 'he can't help it' and isn't being punished, why should Neville and I be punished when we can't help it?"_

" _That sick bastard has been following us both around hoping to kick us and he already demonstrated it in front of the assembled Gryffindor House_ _ **with McGonagall's approval**_ _of how it should be done – the old % &##^$& stood there and watched and listened to all the Gryffindors laugh and applaud at Neville's and my pain."_

" _You not writing to me and believing all the lies being said about me is the last straw. Therefore, I have taken steps and found someone who will help me, empower me and treat me like a person. Tap your wand and say 'I betrayed Harry just like everybody else' which will then reveal a picture of me and what I have been forced to do. AND IT'S YOUR FAULT YOU %#%*# &** #%*#&*%&#&& BASTARD._

 _Insincerely,_

 _Harry, your unloving ex-godson"_

Sirius was insulted and hurt as he read the letter. No doubt he'd have to have a talk with Harry to explain things and put him on the right path since apparently Dumbledore had messed things up – oh but you could never say that about Albus Dumbledore. He really didn't want to look at the picture but again he felt compelled and at least it would get rid of the owl. So he tapped the letter and said the password.

Remus and Tonks were sitting in the kitchen having a cup of cocoa and a nice chat. They were actually discussing Harry and disagreeing with Dumbledore about what he was allowing to be done to him. But since there was nothing that could be done about it, talk was all they could do. They also agreed that Ron was being a real prick and any time he went passed a certain standard of crudeness, his "problem" manifested and grossed everyone out.

"I can't believe that Dumbledore hasn't found a way to stop this," Remus opined. "Couldn't an Unspeakable be called in to fix it if the _Great Albus Dumbledore_ can't?"

"From what Snape said, that was suggested several times but Dumbledore has a theory that it is the only way to catch the 'prankster' causing all the mischief," Tonks replied.

"How?"

"Apparently he believes that the magic used to create and keep up the 'pranks' must be constantly recast. He has personally set traps to catch the culprit and it is now only a matter of time before he, she or they are caught."

"Meanwhile, it has been a good thing for Ron at least according to Molly as Ron has always had constipation problems – hell Remus you've seen what he eats and it's not fruits, vegetables and whole grains. She told me yesterday that Ron has never been so 'clean' and the people at school have learned to look the other way and hold their noses or something stupid like that because they realized what poor Ron is going through and sympathize with him. Yeah, like I or anyone who knows Ron Weasley believes that for a minute."

Before Remus could make a comment they heard the screams. Loud, long, woeful, heartbreaking, despairing screams which could only be coming from Sirius Black. Then they heard someone barreling down the stairs while alternating between screaming, shouting and cursing. Soon Sirius ran into the room out of breath, his face red from it all and waving a picture in front of them. He was totally incoherent except for his cussing and had started jumping up and down. He looked like he was either going to faint, cry and/or have a stroke.

He shoved the picture at Remus who took one look at it and lost all color from his face. "NO, NO, NO, HE DIDN'T, HE COULDN'T, HE, HE, HE…"

"Who is he and what did he do?" asked Tonks.

Remus ignored her and asked "SIRIUS WHERE DID YOU GET THIS?"

Sirius still couldn't talk and now shoved the letter at Remus. Tonks took the opportunity to grab the picture and she was struck speechless as Remus hastily read the letter.

By this time the other residents started rushing down to the kitchen to find out what had happened. Molly Weasley stormed in followed by Arthur, Remus had read the letter and pushed it over to Tonks and Sirius had collapsed on the floor switching from crying to denying to cussing and demanding a bottle of fire whiskey.

"WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?" demanded Molly. "You are making enough noise to wake the dead."

She then saw the picture lying on the table and immediately grabbed it. Then she let out a loud, piercing scream which would scare a banshee and started spewing out "her opinion" regarding such a thing. The Twins got to grab the picture before their father could see it as he was trying to calm down his wife, Hestia Jones looked over their shoulder and then pandemonium broke loose.

Finally Ron and Ginny made it down and Ron grabbed the picture before Ginny and exploded.

"I KNEW IT! I ALWAYS TOLD EVERYBODY WHAT A SLIMY GIT THAT HALF-BLOOD SON OF A MUDBLOOD WHORE WAS. BUT DID ANYONE LISTEN TO ME? NO AND NOW YOU KNOW THAT I WAS RIGHT AND…."

POW, BLAM, SLAP, CRUNCH! They were the sounds made after Sirius threw a punch at Ron Weasley. He put all of his anger, frustration and hurt into that punch and it broke Ron's jaw and knocked him senseless onto the floor. Sirius would have screamed out his frustration at Ron but Molly, seeing her baby hurt, screeched and sent a nasty spell his way. Then Tonks jumped into action, Hestia Jones tried to help, Arthur was confused and Ginny started screaming as she didn't know what was going on.

Fred tried to calm things down giving George time to make a frantic floo call to contact Dumbledore. No one noticed the picture and the letter "falling" to the floor or rather being subtly summoned under the table and into the hands of a certain, mean, nasty blood traitor-hating elf. He looked at the picture then popped out to show the picture and to read the letter to the portrait of his late beloved Mistress.

Things were about to get really, really interesting.

Chapter 4 – You Can't Win for Losing

It was December 29th and Hermione Granger walked the halls of Hogwarts. She was followed by a house elf who had been assigned to her by McGonagall as Granger was so agitated, so livid and so full of nasty things to say to one Harry James Potter when she finally got her hands on him (preferably around his scrawny neck) that her very thoughts caused her "problem" to keep happening, sometimes more than 5-6 times or more within a half hour period of time.

She'd lose her clothes, some would be conjured or fetched for her but it would just keep happening until whoever was around to help her would just give up. Thus, poor Winky had been assigned to her as being the only "free, un-bonded elf at Hogwarts besides the treacherous Dobby."

It was impossible to have Dobby assigned to her because (1) he was a male elf (and Hermione had standards); and (2) he had fled for his life early on the 26th or 27th along with that fiendish, treacherous, miserable, lowlife excuse for a wizard, a friend and a godson known as Harry James Potter.

That was necessary as apparently Voldemort and his Death Eaters were not the only people who wanted Harry dead (besides the Dursleys, can't forget them). No, now it was Sirius, Remus, Tonks, ALL the Weasleys (except for Fred and George who thought it was funny), the Hogwarts teachers and most especially Dumbledore.

No doubt most of the student body other than the Slytherins would also want him dead considering what had happened, but then again with the Slytherins you never really knew as so many of them were already aligned with Voldemort – who still wanted Harry dead – that they would be forced to cry for his blood if Voldie ordered it. For most Slytherins it would be an "Oh-Merlin-what-am-I-suppose-to-do-and-how-am-I-suppose-to-act-now" dilemma.

But at this very moment Hermione Granger knew that of all the Harry-haters, she was the one who hated him the most and not for the reason all of the others did. She hated him and WOULD. .REVENGE just as soon as she found him. Voldemort would have to step aside as would Dumbledore and the Order until Hermione Granger was finished with him. They could have whatever was left to fight over.

So what could Harry have done (considering he was the Boy-Who-Couldn't-Do-Anything-Right as well as the Boy-Who-Couldn't-Do-Anything-About-It) to Hermione Granger? Well I'll tell you.

Her parents had received some anonymous Christmas presents on Boxing Day. The first was an owl, which was a gift for the Muggles. Since Hermione had a cat as a familiar, she had to use a school owl, which would rarely wait around to take any letter her parents wanted to send her. The only time they could send her a letter is if they had one ready when the owl came or Harry Potter's personal owl waited around to take back a reply. Now the Grangers could contact their daughter whenever they wanted. That was something that Hermione was definitely not happy about.

The second gift was a subscription to the _Daily Prophet_ so that the Grangers could read up on what was happening in their daughter's new world. These were very nice, thoughtful presents so far wouldn't you say?

However, the third present was a copy of the official Ministry of Magic report on some unexplainable happenings going on at Hogwarts namely some "interesting problems" which certain students and faculty members were experiencing – and there were photographs!

Somehow, she didn't know how – YET – Harry had acquired the report – with several photographs of her at various times and places, with hands attempting (and failing) to hide her goodies or standing behind desks, doors, a handy student or two or just running away as fast as she could. In all of them one got to see "something" whether a little bit or a lot.

Each and every photo was enough to horrify a mother and give a caring, loving father a stroke or to at least look for a shotgun even if he had to go out and buy one during the after Christmas sales. Owning the gun would give him the feeling of doing something to avenge family honor and a fleeting hope that he could shoot a wizard just…well just because he really wanted to do a lot of damage to ANY WIZARD and had for a very long time.

Hermione had decided that Harry had probably talked Susan Bones into stealing the report from her Aunt's office since her Aunt Amelia was the Head of the DMLE. However, in a rare act of logic (for a house elf at least), Winky had tried to remove the girl from Hermione's list of possible aiders and abettors.

Poor Winky. She was probably the most unenvied house elf in Britain. Not only was she to follow Harry Potter's Grangery around fetching her clothes but since Hermione considered house elves "magical beings worthy of equality and intelligent thought" (and because Hermione didn't really have any friends or even a Weasley to complain or pontificate to at the moment), she had made Winky her confident and bounced ideas off the elf.

Naturally Hermione did most of the talking, question asking and answering and was acting her usual condescending self hence the almost constant loss of clothing. However, to prove that she was treating Winky as an equal, Hermione did allow the elf to voice her squeaky opinion.

"Missy Bones would know better than to take special, important information from her esteemed Auntie as that would be an offense which would see Missy Bones sitting in a Ministry cell for many weeks or more. No, this report and the naughty pictures were probably stolen."

"So what you are suggesting is that Harry paid someone to commit a crime and steal a copy?"

Winky would have banged her head on the floor if annoying witch-bitch wouldn't have yelled at Winky for doing so. She tried to defend her secret Master Harry by pointing out that "Harry Potter would not know who to pay to steal anything from anywhere especially the Ministry as _he is kept very innocent_ _of most things in this world_ ," she said coyly.

Anyone other than Hermione Granger would know that Winky was insulting her as well as inferring she and others knew about how Harry was _**kept so innocent**_ , but it went over Hermione's head as Hermione knew that all house elves were sweet, harmless creatures too busy being abused to be coy or knowing let alone to insult a wizard or a witch, especially a witch as kind, considerate and understanding as Hermione Granger.

With every argument or opinion Hermione brought up, sweet but subtle Winky had a logical counter for it. However, Hermione had to be right because…well she was Hermione Granger and Winky, for all of her "equality" was a pure, adorable, simple house elf after all. Thus Hermione's "problem" kept kicking in, her clothes vanished and Winky summoned them back and magically redressed the girl. Although house elves liked to keep busy all of this was quickly wearing Winky out.

But the best part was the fact that Hermione was actually wrong in her assumption, at least mostly. Harry Potter HAD thought about doing such a thing but he had never gotten around to it (and besides Hermione .HIM). He had "wished it" once but never did anything about it due to time limitations, school work, not knowing who to hire to do the stealing, withdrawing the necessary large amount of money out of his trust vault, etc. He also didn't know exactly where Hermione lived as she had never told him her address.

So the Malfoys had done it. It had only taken this long as there was much to do and the little matter of finding out where the Mudblood lived (and they were not allowed to kill any Granger or even torture them a little). Much money had changed hands and then it was decided that Christmas would be the appropriate time to send "the presents" to the parents and reveal in great detail what the girl had inadvertently been revealing for the past few months to the entirety of Magical Britain.

But Hermione declared it was Harry so therefore Harry was guilty and must and would be punished. Also she was so focused on her new problem that she was too busy to help with the punishment of the other crime Harry had committed.

Right now she had to think up an excuse and write a letter to her parents. She had gone to McGonagall for help such as asking McGonagall to tell the Grangers that their daughter had been framed and was totally innocent and nothing like what was inferred in the fake report and photographs. McGonagall had refused and called Hermione a coward and not acting like a true Gryffindor.

"But Professor," she had wailed, "my parents sent me a letter and are threatening to remove me from Hogwarts if any of this is true."

"The Headmaster will not allow that to happen because if you were taken out of Hogwarts your magic would be blocked and you and your parents would be obliviated. You will just have to write a letter to them and explain – in very great detail – the how and whys such a thing is happening. I am sure they will understand," the girl was condescendingly told. McGonagall then had to make a run for it as _her problem_ started up in full force.

However, Hermione knew her parents too well and they would carry out their threat. Although they had been supportive when they found out Hermione was a witch, they were not happy with all that had been going on since she started school.

They were often disappointed if not angry when Hermione had to fulfill certain "obligations." They felt that their rights as parents were being ignored and trampled on and they were correct because they were. But since there was nothing they could do about it, Hermione hadn't worried.

Usually someone "helped her out" with her parents. Molly Weasley and even Remus Lupin had spelled her parents on occasion to get them to agree to letting Hermione leave early. Molly had once actually obliviated them once. Unfortunately all the Weasleys were too busy being mad at Harry Potter to even consider helping Hermione. In fact, they were blaming Hermione for not doing her duty and allowing Harry Potter to commit the unpardonable crime while under her watch.

What crime did Harry commit? He didn't do anything other than "pranking" Sirius.

Harry didn't do pranks as he never had the time or inclination to prank. He knew what it was like to be bullied and made a laughingstock to "amuse" others and therefore couldn't do it to another person even Malfoy (and because he would be severely punished). Also the Weasley Twins were the acknowledged masters of this generation and most importantly Harry knew he would get in trouble. However, one of the few things Sirius had ever talked about to Harry was just how awesome and wonderful James Potter was and all of the pranks they played.

It was evident that Sirius was disappointed that Harry didn't prank but he never stopped to ask or consider why he didn't. He only promised that he would remedy that situation and make James proud of Harry by teaching Harry the fine art of pranking.

So the one time Harry actually pulled a prank all hell had broken loose.

Apparently Marauders could dish it out but not take it nor could the Weasleys. And here Harry thought it was a prank of genius. Actually it was - it really was - and if someone else hadn't "pranked" him back, he would not be in the amount of trouble he was in.

It was the picture that was the prank. Harry had meant everything he had said in the letter except the part about finding " _someone who will help me, empower me and treat me like a person"_ as there was no one in his life who would help, empower or treat him like a person and the way his life had been arranged there probably never would be anyone to help him.

He had had Dobby spell a copy of Voldemort's Dark Mark onto his left arm and then take a picture of it. It was meant to scare the holy hell out of Sirius and it had. It had also scared the hell out of Remus, Tonks, all of the Weasleys, Hestia Jones, and every Order member. Most importantly it had almost given Dumbledore a stroke!

Now that was funny and you can't tell me it wasn't. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Once everybody calmed down and realized that IT HAD TO BE A PRANK, then a good laugh would be had by all, right?

Wrong, because too many people didn't have a real sense of humor, most especially Molly, Ron and Ginny Weasley and Dumbledore. However, things could have been salvaged if Kreacher hadn't stolen the picture and the letter and showed it to the portrait of Walburga Black.

Seems old Walburga had a warped sense of humor much like her son Sirius because she commanded Kreacher to take the picture and the letter to Rita Skeeter. And the rest was history.

Lucius Malfoy had taken the liberty to send one of his house elves to wake up the Dark Lord and show him the _Daily Prophet_. He thought the Dark Lord should know immediately. Actually all the assembled Death Eaters wanted to know the truth and Lucius was curious enough to risk waking Voldie up. Hopefully it would be the house elf who would be punished and not Lucius if Voldie didn't appreciate being awaken early.

Voldie laughed until he screamed and even fell out of bed but still kept laughing. It was the best Christmas present he had ever received and the very relieved Death Eaters were free to laugh along with their Lord and be glad and rejoice that none of them were going to be tortured or killed. Even the house elf survived unscathed.

Needless to say the citizens of Magical Britain were horrified. Those at Grimmauld Place were still screaming, crying and being treated by Madame Pomfrey for the injuries they received when the fight had broken out.

Against Dumbledore's direct orders Pomfrey told Arthur that if he wanted Ronald to survive he had to be taken to St. Mungo's not only for the broken jaw but due to his state of mind his "problem" had worsen as he was too upset and constantly expressing his displeasure with the world in general and Sirius and Harry particularly. He was very badly dehydrated and for some reason that Arthur didn't understand, Pomfrey said that his mouth needed to be washed out with a strong cleanser.

Harry had been hiding in the Room of Requirement after he sent the letter as he knew there would be fallout until somebody with a brain, like the Twins, would realize it was a prank. At least he hoped they would. However, he had not been prepared for what happened next.

A frantic Dobby had woken Harry up and was waving a copy of the _Daily Prophet_ in front of him. He kept repeating "This is not a prank Harry Potter, this is real newspaper article." Winky showed up shortly thereafter with the horrible news that all of those at Grimmauld Place and now Hogwarts thought that Harry had really taken the mark, joined up with the Dark Lord and sent a copy of the letter and picture to Rita Skeeter.

"Harry Potter must flee for his life," shouted the very upset elf. "Big, bad bumblebee (her nickname for Dumbledore) is believing that Master has joined the evil Dark Lord and he is threatening to do many bad things to Harry Potter. Old McGonagall is drinking her special native drink right out of the bottle and is falling down a lot muttering about 'James turning over in his grave' and many things which Winky would dare not repeat as Winky would then have to iron her tongue."

She was dismissed to find out more but not before advising her Master to "HIDE FOR YOUR LIFE" and for once Dobby agreed with her. So after taking drastic precautions so he could not be tracked, Harry had Dobby take him to Luna Lovegood's home.

Just before she left for the holiday, she told Harry, "if you need a place to hide, have Dobby bring you to my house" and since Harry was positive the girl was a seer, he kept that in mind. Besides who would look for him at Luna's house as she wasn't an "official Dumbledore-approved friend" and Ron and Hermione had been too busy with their "problems" to notice Harry was seeing Luna on the sly.

So Harry had fled to Luna's house and apparently she had been expecting him (due to her seer powers). Her father immediately scanned Harry, found trackers on all of his clothes and glasses which could not be removed so he vanished Harry's clothes and made Dobby take Harry's glasses and wand back to Hogwarts with orders to leave them on his night table.

"Hopefully they might think you have been kidnapped if your glasses, wand and belongings are still at Hogwarts," Xeno told him. "Besides they have trackers on them, especially the wand and glasses since you would never leave without taking them."

At first meeting Xeno Lovegood was a cross between his unusual daughter, Mad-Eye Moody and one of those American conspiracy theory persons. He was also well-briefed (probably by Luna) about Harry's life and circumstances and he gave Dobby some orders which the elf snapped to do, while he informed Harry for the reason.

"Your life has been very carefully controlled by Albus Dumbledore and no one, not the Minister of Magic, the various departments at the Ministry, the Goblins, and any and all of the persons who had if not a right then at the least a true concern for your well-being, has ever been able to contact you even after you came to Hogwarts."

Harry sighed before saying, "I kind of figured that out during my first year, but since there was nothing I could do about it…"

"Ah but did you know that he not only sealed your parents' Will – until your 25th birthday which is unheard of anywhere – but he sent to Gringotts within a half hour of your parents' death to claim guardianship over you. What makes it all the more suspicious is that Sirius Black, as your godfather, was first on your list as a guardian and then, from what I have been able to find out, the Longbottoms were next as well as several other people."

"Now here is where it gets tricky," Xeno told him. "He did this all before Sirius knew that your parents were dead. Alice Longbottom is your godmother but although she was in hiding she was, at the time of your parents' death, alive, well, ready, willing and able to take guardianship of you. The Longbottoms weren't attacked until November 2nd and only because the Fidelius they were placed under had been lifted without their knowledge."

"So Neville's parents were killed also?"

"No," came the reply, "They were tortured into insanity by the Lestranges and Barty Crouch, Jr. They have been in St. Mungo's since then which is why Neville has been brought up by his rather formidable Grandmother. I've also know that Amelia Bones was on the list as were Sirius Black's 'Light cousin" the Tonkses and there were many other respectable and even 'Dumbledore-approved' persons listed yet he declared martial law when it came to you and whisked you away to your Mother's Muggle sister and totally ignored the contents of the Will."

"But if he sealed it how do you know who were my guardians other than Sirius?"

"Because your Father was an Auror and the last of his line – besides you – and all Aurors and anybody with a lick of sense were required to have a Will, especially if they had a wife and children. Since casualties were very high during the war, there were always many people named as possible guardians for a child and it was a well-known fact that James Potter informed – not asked because he was James Potter – that he was putting them down as potential guardians for you should Sirius, who was also an Auror and at high risk, die."

"So what you are saying is that Dumbledore knew exactly when Voldemort…well he KNEW when it happened and instead of coming to see if I was alive, he went to Gringotts to read a Will?"

"Exactly. It is rumored that he had a very bad meeting with the Potter account manager and even Ragnok, the President of Gringotts, then took the Will, went to the Ministry and sealed it before he did anything else. He indeed left you alone in the debris of your parents' house while he called the Wizengamot and the press to announce the good news. Apparently he had sent Hagrid to collect you."

"In other words, I could have been dead, in danger of dying, a Death Eater or two could have been waiting outside for Voldie to finish the job yet he never showed up and then eventually sent Hagrid to collect me?"

"Oh yes," came the reply. "If one stopped to think about it, there were probably spells placed on the house to alert him about the attack but he never admitted nor did anyone – other than me – ask how he knew what had happened if he wasn't there and there is no evidence that he was there after the death as he was busy doing other things. Therefore one must ask _**how did he know what had happened unless he was there to witness it happening.**_ "

"And only Sirius and Hagrid were there until… When did someone else show up after Hagrid rescued me?"

"Not until the afternoon of November 2nd because the house was still under the Fidelius so the Aurors couldn't get in to investigate or retrieve your parents' bodies until Dumbledore lifted the Fidelius off of the house."

This bit of information chilled Harry to his very bone marrow. By that time Dobby had returned from someplace where the odds and ends from centuries were kept – the Room of Requirement. He had found clothes which had been left by students that actually fit Harry and were in much better condition than the rags he usually wore. The clothes were placed in a trunk, also from the room, as well as a rather large collection of wands which Dobby had found. He had also thrown in a set of books from years 1-5 and a few other odds and ends and, most importantly, NONE OF THE ITEMS HAD ANY TRACKERS ON THEM.

Only seven of the 48 wands had the Ministry trace on it so all Harry had to do was find a compatible wand. There were three he could use. Before Dobby returned the others both Xeno and Luna tested the others and Xeno found one he could use (his extra wand had broken during the war and he hadn't gotten around to getting another one) and Luna also found three compatible ones.

The only thing that couldn't be found for Harry were a pair of glasses but Luna told him that he really should get his eyes checked since he had mentioned to her he had never had a proper exam.

Before he went to Hogwarts Xeno sent Dobby to Gringotts to basically empty Harry's trust vault before someone else could do it for him.

"I am sorry to have to be the one to tell you this," Xeno informed Harry, "But since the picture and the letter were printed in the _Prophet_ , you can't go back to Hogwarts. The Ministry now has he excuse it has been looking for to toss you in Azkaban and throw away the key and Dumbledore will be so mad at you that…well he'd probably let them to teach you a lesson."

"But then wouldn't the Ministry have to admit that Voldemort is really back as only he can give someone the dark mark?" Harry asked.

"Oh yes," added Luna, "but that would be logical and since when has the Ministry, especially during the Fudge administration, ever been logical."

"They would find some way around admitting the truth and with the letter and the picture as 'the undeniable proof' they would get away with it" Xeno added. "Therefore, since no one would listen to you or bother examining your arm, you are, as the Muggles say, SCREWED BIG TIME."

Harry sighed heavily before asking, "So what do I do now?"

"Now we really rescue you," Luna said. "I…sensed…something like this would happen and Daddy has contacted a few friends in Sweden and made some arrangements. They are very trustworthy and we will make them swear a magical oath just to be sure. In fact, we had planned to visit them on the 29th so you are welcome to come with us."

"Are you sure you won't get into trouble?" Harry asked.

"No, as nobody other than you, Neville, Millicent Bulstrode and Su Li ever pay any attention to me. I did just happen to mention to them that Daddy and I were going away for Yule but not to where so we have an alibi."

So the next morning Harry, Dobby, Hedwig (who Dobby had retrieved and Xeno had taken off the trackers placed on her), Luna and Xeno all left for Sweden and the hospitality of Sven Borgström a retired teacher at the only school of magic in Scandinavia. It was a very small school and its name was not known outside of Scandinavia as it specialized in ancient magic and accepted students from some of the "lesser" magical entities as defined by the International Confederation of Wizards (the "ICW") (which just happened to be headed by Dumbledore).

Sven was a jolly old soul and if the truth were known he resembled Santa – or rather the _real_ St. Nicholas – much more than people like Dumbledore in both looks and morality. He was a short man because like Filius Flitwick he was a half-breed. His father was a wizard but his mother was a dwarf. Had he been born in Britain, he would have had to overcome great difficulties much like Flitwick had.

Flitwick had to constantly excel at everything to "prove he was worthy of being considered a wizard." He had not attended Hogwarts due to the great prejudice in that nation and had instead gone to the Swedish school. His power, talent, drive and ambition, and the fact that he had earned several masteries and was an award-winning duelist, had finally won him a position as a teacher at Hogwarts. However, he was still looked down upon by many in Britain and he had only survived due to his Goblin relatives. Flitwick was the "token Goblin" allowed to have a wand, live, work and prosper in Magical Britain.

In Sweden and much of Europe Sven Borgström had been accepted on his own merits. He had had a good career first as an Unspeakable for the Swedish Ministry and then as a respected instructor at the school. He had taught a course on magical creatures and was a renowned writer and lecturer on the subject, which was how he came to meet Xeno Lovegood.

He had married a witch and they had three daughters who were grown and with families of their own. He had retired four years ago in order to care for his wife but she had died the year before. He was lonely and needed a purpose in life.

Luna, who had "foreseen" Harry's dilemma, had had her father contact Sven "just in case" Harry needed a bolt hole. Like many in Europe Sven had been following the "Harry Potter phenomena" since the boy had "defeated" Voldemort as a 15 month old baby.

Outside of Britain hardly anyone believed a baby had vanquished a dark lord, especially one as powerful as Voldemort. Personally Sven thought that his mother had done some sort of preventive magic to save her child and that since she was a Muggleborn witch in Magical Britain, another explanation had to be given.

Sven's brother Erik agreed with him. Erik was the Swedish representative to the ICW and if there was one thing he impressed upon his brother, the Swedish Ministry of Magic and ANYBODY WHO WOULD LISTEN TO HIM, was that Albus Dumbledore knew more than he would admit and since he had personally taken charge of everything concerning the "Boy-Who-Lived" from giving him that dreadful nickname to "managing him" to appointing himself the boy's guardian and keeping an almost death hold on the boy, something was terribly wrong.

"It's just another one of Dumbledore's schemes and nothing good will come of it" was Erik's mantra. Now that Dumbledore was telling the world that Voldemort was back "things should get interesting" Erik had told his brother.

"Just so you know," Sven had told Harry, "My brother Erik despises Albus Dumbledore because…well he is so very despicable. I will make him swear an oath to not tell anyone you are here but I do have to tell him so that he can help you if it is found out that you are here. In the meantime I will privately tutor you and teach you Swedish just in case it is necessary for you to attend school here and/or if you claim sanctuary with the Swedish government."

The rest of the Yule holiday (Sven like most wizards living outside of Britain refused to call it the Christmas holidays) was spent getting Harry a physical (with Healer Anderson first taking an oath not to tell anyone about Harry) and a new pair of glasses. If nothing else some of Harry's ailments and physical damage could be healed as well as giving the boy the first sense of safety and security he had ever known.

Sven had given Harry several amulets to wear. "It is little known but Albus Dumbledore has ways of tracking people and is a shameless user of legitimacy. Rumor has it that if he has a monitor tied into the person he can always find them as well as influencing their thought processes. Also this amulet will prevent his phoenix from finding you."

"I can't have him tracing you here otherwise you will just be dragged back to Britain and he can use this against Erik. "Erik is one of many in the ICW who is constantly at odds with Dumbledore and some of his more insane proposals and your "Light wizard" fights dirty. Many things going on at the meetings at the ICW remain 'classified' but Erik says that if people really knew what was going on…"

At the end of the holidays the Lovegoods went home and Harry settled in nicely. Only the Lovegoods and Dobby knew where Harry was as Sven had advised that Harry not call Winky at least for a while until things settled down in Britain as Dobby had heard that poor Winky had been assigned to follow Hermione around and would be missed if she was summoned.

Therefore between Winky being condemned to serve Hermione and the amulets Sven gave Harry to wear, Voldemort and especially Dumbledore could not find Harry by any means and had no idea where he was and that suited him fine.

Harry would be very happy to learn that while he was now having a nice holiday people back home were not. The Twins had been the ones to figure out that Harry had pranked Sirius. Unfortunately no one was listening to them because Sirius was still going crazy thanks to being half drunk, completely drunk or passed out and Molly and Ron screaming, ranting and condemning Harry.

Arthur had taken Ron to St. Mungo's but they sent him back after giving him some potions and orders which he had no intention of obeying because now he had a chance to get Potter in more trouble than usual and he would not pass up the opportunity to crush Potter. Maybe he could convince Sirius to let him have the presents he had bought for Harry because they were really good ones.

Eventually the Twins convinced Remus of the logic and once they sobered Sirius up, he started believing – hopefully – that yes indeed it was a prank and a very good one. A few others were convinced but then Ron was back and started his slander campaign. He even went so far as to hand Sirius a bottle of fire whiskey and got him to start drinking and doubting. It was a real mess.

Since Dumbledore had not been able to find Harry or Dobby anywhere even he started to worry especially when he discovered that all of the monitors placed on Harry had melted. Had the boy really ran off and joined Tom? At the moment only Severus would know and he, much to Dumbledore's annoyance, was unavailable until further notice.

Severus was spending his holiday at Malfoy Manor brewing potions for the Dark Lord. At least he wasn't forced to report in at Grimmauld and put up with the members of the Order, the Mutt, the Wolf and the family from hell. He would even be spared the damnable eye twinkling of Dumbledore and the rolling eye and threats of Moody.

Besides the food was good, he had a house elf assigned to him and he had a very nice room. No one had bothered him at all and he didn't even know about "the article" until the 29th because if the Dark Lord wasn't calling him, he wasn't venturing out of his potions lab except to sleep in his very nice room. Therefore, it wasn't until the 30th when Voldemort summoned all the Death Eaters to celebrate the successful breakout of the "true faithful" from Azkaban that Snape found out what had happened.

"Dumbledore is probably going insane trying to find out if the boy did or didn't," Voldie informed Snape. "My other spy has informed me that the old fool and his minions actually believe the brat has joined up or at least did until the Weasley Twins suggested it was a prank. Some still believe Potter has joined me due to the other Weasley idiots and they won't know until you give your report. However, you will not be reporting until the day you return to school."

Snape couldn't believe they would think the Potter spawn would ever consider let alone actually join the Dark Lord but apparently at least half of the idiots did. He accidentally said this to the Dark Lord who (thankfully) had merely laughed and told him that "When you do return you must say that I have sworn you to secrecy as to whether or not the boy did or did not join. I then want your memory sent to me so we can all enjoy watching it in the pensive."

Snape had to admit to himself that would be funny except for the fact that magical oath or no Dumbledore wouldn't take no for an answer and Snape wondered if he would survive Dumbledore's definite attempt to find out. He might be having mush for brains for the New Year. Hopefully the brat would be found before then and his life/brains would be spared.

But the brat wasn't found and Snape just narrowly escaped having mush for brains as Dumbledore would not take no for an answer. He knocked Snape unconscious, cast a few dark spells he knew and attempted to break through Severus' formidable mind shields.

The only thing that saved Snape was the fact that Voldemort knew his Dumbledore all too well. Therefore, using parsel magic Voldemort reinforced Snape's shields so that _**Dumbledore**_ could not break through. He nearly killed Snape trying but luckily Pomfrey had managed to save his life once Dumbledore gave up.

Snape couldn't go back to teaching for the first two weeks so all the students were happy but Voldie and the Death Eaters were not as due to the spells on the shields and the ordeal of the mind rape by Dumbledore, Snape had been unable to produce any kind of memory other than that of his pain. Only a few chuckles were had due to Dumbledore's anger at failing and it was better than nothing.

Rita Skeeter was given another anonymous tip. Apparently Harry Potter had led the breakout at Azkaban, although there were no pictures – or survivors among the Aurors – to validate the story. No matter it made for great copy and infuriated Dumbledore.

So the mystery began. Did Harry Potter really join up with Voldemort? No one really knew for certain except for Voldemort and he wasn't telling. For safety sake, he had mercifully forbidden all of his Death Eaters telling their children anything!

"It is for their own good that they know nothing so you are not to tell your offspring anything. Let them guess. If they don't know, they can't tell Dumbledore so warn them well" he told them looking directly at Crabbe, Sr. and Goyle, Sr.

He also took Lucius aside and advised him to tell his son to keep his big, mouth shut. Voldie remembered Draco all too well from his time of living in the back of Quirrell's head so he knew personally that the boy was a poncy, strutting fool who couldn't keep his big mouth shut to save his life.

And he couldn't. Despite his Father's warning and direct order, Draco just couldn't resist hurting Granger and Weasley by insinuating that yes, Potter was a member of the Death Eaters. This time, however, it had not been his fault as Dumbledore had cast a compulsion charm on the boy and Granger had set a trap for him which he fell right into.

Granger cried for days while Ron increased his rants and slanders and Crabbe and Goyle ratted Draco out to their fathers who in turn told Voldie. However, it had all been a part of Voldie's plan as he really did know his Dumbledore and knew he would use Draco to get the information he wanted. Now Draco's indiscretion could be used to Voldie's advantage as the boy's frantic parents would go beyond the call of duty and do anything to save their son and heir.

Voldie was extremely happy how things were turning out. After the fiasco at the cemetery when he found out that he and Potter shared brother wands, he had done a lot of thinking, investigating and made new plans.

He realized that making all of those Horcruxes had damaged him. He had never intended to make seven as it wasn't really necessary. Then Nagini told him that she sensed that the boy "was like us" and Voldemort realized that Potter was a Horcrux. The fact that he could communicate and read the boy's mind over great distances confirmed the fact.

Therefore Tom Riddle made a decision. He would re-absorb the Horcrux in the ring. If he felt better then he would do the same with Nagini. He had done both and the change was immediate and life-changing. Nagini was still close to him as she was his bonded familiar. His body changed for the better also but he kept a glamour of the snake body on just to keep up the pretense that he was still insane and couldn't think properly. This would fool Dumbledore who still thought he had Tom Riddle right where he wanted him.

He really didn't as once Tom got some of his sanity back, he also got back some of his astounding intellect and started thinking logically once again. He came up with the following conclusions.

Get a new wand, which he did. In fact he got several but didn't tell anyone. He had each wand spelled to look like his old wand so that Dumbledore would not find out.

Instead of wasting time and manpower trying to get the prophecy he had Aberforth Dumbledore kidnapped and brought to him for interrogation. He had never been able to get to Sybil Trewlaney to find out the rest of the prophecy even when he had been possessing Quirrell.

Dumbledore never let her out of the castle and she had spent almost all of her time in her private tower which just happened to have several runes placed on it which prevented anyone not attending her class from gaining entry – except for Albus Dumbledore.

It had been Aberforth's seedy bar where the interview and prophecy had taken place and since there was no reason for an interview to be given in that bar and only Severus had been thrown out when he had heard just half the prophecy it reeked of a set up. Aberforth didn't know why but he had been ordered by his brother to wait for a signal and then throw only Snape out of the bar. It had been a total setup for a trap that due to his insanity, Voldemort had fallen into.

He wisely (not mercifully, but wisely) obliviated Aberforth and had him taken back to his bar. He would have an attempt or two made to retrieve the prophecy so that Albus would think he was falling into another trap but that would only be for show.

He broke out his followers from Azkaban not only because he needed them and would reward them for being faithful but also so that Bellatrix could retrieve Hufflepuff's cup from her vault. He would be re-hiding all of his Horcruxes especially after he found out the fate of his journal.

He had borrowed an elf from Lucius and went to retrieve the locket only to find out that it was a fake. Regulus Black had disappeared and mysteriously died shortly after Voldemort had used his elf to hide it. Voldemort did an accio and lo and behold an inferius Regulus Black arose from the water only to be quickly questioned and then utterly destroyed. Now Voldemort had to find the elf and find his Horcrux.

Narcissa had been able to summon the elf shortly after the winter term at Hogwarts had started and most of the Order and Weasleys had left Grimmauld Place. Poor Kreacher was tortured but wouldn't tell until Voldemort started peeling off small bits of Narcissa's skin and then threatened to horribly kill her, her son – the only possible Black heir – and every remaining member of the Black Family unless Kreacher produced the locket.

Voldemort got the locket as well as the news that it had been Kreacher, on the portrait Walburga's orders, had sent the letter and picture to Rita Skeeter. For this bit of information, Voldemort allowed Kreacher to live and act as a spy at Grimmauld Place. He promised that Sirius would meet a very bad end and had also told the elf a very good lie that his beloved master Regulus had been spelled by Sirius or Dumbledore – but probably Sirius – to betray the "cause" and his Master and this had led to his death.

"But do not tell your Mistress Walburga's portrait as such treachery would break her heart," Voldemort had actually told the elf for good measure, knowing that the old, miserable creature would do it anyway so that hopefully Walburga would finally order her own son's death and Kreacher would happily obey.

After his spy at Hogwarts (definitely not Snape) had retrieved the diadem, he carefully and secretly hid all of his recovered Horcruxes except for the ones he had absorbed and the one in Harry Potter. He hid two of them outside of Britain as his other hiding places had been too obvious.

He replaced the ring with a specially spelled copy to mimic the original and set traps in to make it seem like it was the real thing as well as adding the same curses to it for good measure. He would be alerted if Dumbledore, or one of his minions, tried to retrieve the ring and that would prove that Dumbledore did know about the Horcruxes and was trying to destroy them.

Dumbledore would NEVER find them now as he knew that once his nemesis had the journal in his hands, he must know that it had been a Horcrux. He also had to know that Potter was one and thus all of the "tests" and traps had been carefully planned out and Potter was the bait, the lure and would no doubt be the sacrifice.

He was going to remain hidden for as long as possible. This time there would be no raids, no killing of Muggles (much to the distress of some of his more sadistic followers) and no hint that the crusade had once again started.

Instead those who had been rescued would recover from their imprisonment and then go off to secretly recruit more followers. This time he would go for quality rather than quantity, all would be carefully trained and besides the dark mark, special oaths would be sworn.

The attacks against Dumbledore would be increased and his credibility destroyed. Word would leak out that although Voldemort was not back Harry Potter had joined a copycat organization that sought to revive the Death Eaters. Sirius Black had been blamed for the incident at the Quidditch World Cup so it was logical to assume that he was trying to revive his dead Dark Lord's crusade.

According to the Ministry, Harry's letter to Sirius Black proved that he had been in contact with the escaped prisoner - who had betrayed his parents – and had joined him. However, using the letter, the Ministry opined that the Bastard-Who-Lived-to-Betray had fallen out with Black because he wasn't "getting his way or enough power in the group" and had therefore joined another splinter group of Death Eaters to spite Black.

This new, condemning theory had been whispered into Fudge's ear by Lucius Malfoy on orders from Voldemort. Fudge had gleefully made it the official Ministry position as it not only condemned Potter, it ruined Dumbledore's reputation "proving" that he was trying to overthrow the Ministry and take over Britain (and then the world) and the traitorous Sirius Black was helping him, Potter was definitely involved but had doubly betrayed everybody and joined another dastardly group.

The fact that this theory had more holes in it than a piece of Swiss cheese that had been nibbled on by several mice didn't matter to Fudge or anybody at the Ministry or most of the Magical World. It was made official and reported in the _Daily Prophet_. Just to be thorough and further inflame the world, Rita Skeeter started writing a weekly column updating the public about all of the theories, atrocities being committed (although none were at the present time), the danger facing everybody and the horrendous manipulations of Albus Dumbledore. At least she got that part right.

Letters to the editor were written by "concerned citizens" asking why nothing was being done. One letter - sent anonymously because the writer had grandchildren attending Hogwarts and he feared for their lives - asked why, since they had Potter's letter giving proof, that nothing had been done to arrest those mentioned as being members of Dumbledore's "gang" especially since it was proven that they were with Sirius Black.

And that was what Fudge did. He had Arthur Weasley arrested for "questioning" and almost got Molly who just managed to flee to Grimmauld Place after being tipped off by Hestia Jones. Arthur had been administered Veritaserum and asked questions from a list given to him by Lucius and much against his will Arthur spilled many of Albus' "secrets" such as the names of all Aurors who were Order members.

All the Aurors in the Order were immediately arrested and dosed with Veritaserum. Fudge didn't bother using Lucius "list of questions to ask Aurors" but instead just asked, "Are you a member of the Order of the Phoenix and have therefore sworn allegiance to Albus Dumbledore?" When they answered yes, they were immediately stripped of their wands and badges and joined Arthur in a Ministry holding cell.

Once she was safe at Grimmauld Place Molly contacted Dumbledore to inform him of the sting and he was able to make plans as well as sending messages to all Order members to rendezvous at Headquarters as soon as possible.

The next 24 hours Dumbledore literally had to fight for his freedom. He called in favors and even spelled a few wizards to vouch for him. It was touch and go for a while but in the end he was able to remain free. However, he was really relieved of all of his positions except for being Headmaster of Hogwarts.

Up until this time he had managed to still actually retain his position as Supreme Mugwump of the International Confederation of Wizards and Chief Warlock of the Wizengamot but was just on a type of probation. Now, however, he was definitely off and even his position as Headmaster was on shaky ground.

The only thing that really saved him was swearing on his life and magic that he was not seeking to overthrow the Ministry and grab Cornelius Fudge's job. Of course he swore the oath very carefully worded to suit his real objectives but it had been so unexpected (even by Lucius) that his immediately swearing it before being administered Veritaserum or ask to give an oath saved him.

It had been a close call but _**he had survived**_. Arthur had been released but he was fired as were the Aurors. Rita Skeeter was given the task of writing the story of the proceedings and she did so in her own unique style (slander, embellishing the fact, heavy use of innuendos, etc.). It turned out to be a "great victory for Cornelius Fudge and the people of Britain" or in other words Voldie 1, Dumbledore 0.

All Dumbledore could do now was to regroup, re-plan and look for that damn Harry Potter.

Chapter 5 – The Rest of the Year

The rest of Harry's fifth year was a horror for everybody but him. Gryffindor House experienced a severe drop in power and prestige if only because Dumbledore was on very shaky ground and had to watch himself. He could not continue to show the blatant favoritism he had been giving to his former House since he became Headmaster.

Due to his narrow escape, Fudge had increased Pimpo's authority much like he had originally planned to give to Delores. Pimpo was named Grand Inquisitor and started sitting in on classes especially those taught by Dumbledore's greatest supporters namely, McGonagall, Hagrid, Trelawney and Snape.

A very happy Pimpo, now drunk with power, actually made some very good suggestions on how to improve things. The first was to GET RID OF BINNS. The Board of Governors had been trying to do just such a thing for decades but had always been blocked or defeated just when success had been on the horizon. But now Pimpo had suggested it and IT WAS ACTUALLY BEING DONE. But not until next year as it was too late to find a new history teacher and new books would have to approved, etc.

Also due to his suggestion, the Deputy Head should not be a Head of House. It was just too much for one person to handle properly. Therefore, McGonagall could either remain Head of Gryffindor and teach Transfiguration OR teach Transfiguration but relinquish her position as Head if she wanted to remain as Deputy Head. In any event she should only wear two hats and not three. Pimpo suggested that she remain Head of Gryffindor but another non-House Head, such as Sinistra or Burbage should be appointed Deputy Head.

Since Fudge was in a "good mood" he let her choose. Despite Dumbledore's expressed orders to her she told Fudge she wanted to give up the position of Deputy Head and just teach and take care of her Gryffindors. Fudge was delighted with her choice but instead of appointing one of the other teachers as Deputy Head he took the opportunity to make it a separate position and appointed one of his most trusted supporters to the position effective immediately.

Elspeth Eccles was a Half-blood witch who was just one step away from being a Pureblood, so she was eligible to have a job at the Ministry in one of the better departments. She was also a very competent person (well she had been a Ravenclaw) and was assigned to the Accounting Department.

Despite supporting Fudge (or rather tolerating him and being able to hide it very well) she was a very honest person who believed in getting the job done as efficiently as possible. She was just what was needed to wade through the mess which Hogwarts' finances were in. Also she loathed Albus Dumbledore as many others at the Ministry did.

Dumbledore was furious but since _**there was nothing HE could do about it**_ (hee, hee, hee thank you Karma), so he had to accept this attack on his power. He retaliated by mentally and emotionally torturing McGonagall, or at least more than he normally did.

Much to the shock of most people Pimpo was a fair man and despite Fudge's orders, did his best to actually help the school. Trelawney was allowed to stay but she was to come down from her tower and "mingle" with her colleagues and the students and "act like a teacher" and not a strange hermit.

Pimpo suggested that Hagrid remain as Groundskeeper because he excelled at that job but should be an associate teacher. A new Care of Magical Creatures teacher should be hired and Hagrid should assist him in handling the creatures. The new teacher would determine what creatures the students would be exposed to and handle because Hagrid didn't take into consideration that some animals were just too dangerous to expose adults to let alone children.

But Pimpo's best accomplishment and personal favorite was being able to finally GET RID OF THE ACROMANTULA COLONY. He had feared the spiders ever since he had been a student when Silvanus Kettleburn taught the subject. Kettleburn had been trying to get rid of the colony for years especially once Aragog had _somehow acquired a mate_ and started producing a multitude of offspring. He had reported the danger to the Board of Governors and the proper department at the Ministry for years but without success. The danger had only increased as the colony grew and it even threatened the other inhabitants of the forest.

However, Elspeth had done some research and found out that four times a year "buyers" came to Hogwarts and harvested the spiders' silk. They paid the spiders with a small herd of cattle and in return the spiders willingly gave them the silk. And guess who got a "fee" for services rendered. Yep, Dumbledore had been making money from allowing the colony to exist which money, he claimed, went into various "special funds" which benefitted the school.

Unfortunately there was no record of where these "funds" were applied. Dumbledore's excuse was that he was so busy being Headmaster that he had made the handling of finances the Deputy Head's job. McGonagall told them that the school's finances were not part of her job and that "Albus always handled the finances as it was too important a matter to be delegated to someone else." Elspeth believed McGonagall and now had another thing to use against Dumbledore.

Therefore, an "understanding" was made and the Ministry found a deserted island which could be used to house the colony and the entire colony was moved as soon as possible so that the "buyers" could continue the "good work" they were doing for the endangered species and Hogwarts could still benefit from the fees. Naturally the Ministry would be doing the overseeing and keeping the books and collecting the fees so everyone would benefit – except for Dumbledore and his special funds.

Wilhelmina Grubbly-Plank, who had substituted for Hagrid when he "had taken a leave of absence for 'personal reasons'" (or rather Dumbledore had sent him on a "mission" for the Order) was appointed the permanent senior teacher of Care of Magical Creatures with Hagrid as her assistant. Everyone was happy with the situation, even Hagrid as he had to admit that doing two jobs (not to mention working for the Order) had been taxing his time and strength and he had been secretly caring for his brother.

But despite the good Pimpo was doing for the school, all of the students were uneasy. Slytherin House gained much of the "power" that Gryffindor had lost and took advantage of the situation to revenge itself against Gryffindor and certain "prominent, high profile members" such as the Weasley Twins, Ron and Hermione.

As soon as Elspeth was installed as Deputy Head, McGonagall was able to relax a bit for the first time in decades. Now she could actually devote some of her new free time to checking on her lions and hopefully helping them. But then Pimpo had a meeting with her which consisted of handing her a list of improvements which were to be put into effect immediately.

Most of the improvements were not unexpected and to be honest, she actually agreed with some of them. She just didn't want to be the one to inform Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger that they were being relieved of their Prefect badges. So Pimpo very nicely volunteered to do it if only because he was making a statement as well as seeing the expressions on certain people's faces when the changes were made.

A mandatory meeting of the entire House was called and only someone being dead would excuse them from attending. Lateness would also not be tolerated and anyone being late would be given detentions the amount of which would be determined by how late such a person was. Since Gryffindors usually ignored rules trouble would be happening.

The meeting was posted on the bulletin board, announced at three meals and all Prefects were to remind all House residents especially the night before and the morning of the meeting. It was to be held on a Saturday at 1:00 p.m. Pimpo knew that many students liked to sleep in on Saturdays but then get up for lunch. He was being very considerate for a Ministry appointed Grand Inquisitor.

However, Angelina Johnson had called a Quidditch practice for that morning to begin at 8:00 a.m. and ending no later than noon, so that they could shower and grab lunch before the meeting. Naturally Ron overslept because "no one woke him up and made sure he got up" because that $%#*#^&^ Potter wasn't there to do his job.

He was late for practice to begin with but stopped off to grab a few bacon sandwiches and some pastry because he couldn't function or play well if he didn't have something to eat. He arrived at 8:45 a.m. and was cursed out by Angelina for being late as well as eating his food during practice. Since they were all still having their "problems" practice was a nightmare and they didn't finish until 12:15 p.m. because Angelina lost track of time and the practice had been so bad she didn't care.

They just had enough time to shower, grab a sandwich or two and make the meeting. Except for Ron as since he had been forced to have a quick and insufficient breakfast, he was not going to miss having a decent and substantial lunch. So he skipped the shower and merely changed his clothes and went to lunch where he completely lost track of time due to eating, having a conversation with Dean and Seamus (with him doing most of the talking). Therefore he was 20 minutes late for the meeting and knowing it as Dean and Seamus had left for it at 12:55 p.m. while Ron stayed to finish his third helping.

Pimpo was giving one detention for every five minutes of lateness so Dean, Seamus received one when they arrived as did two other Gryffs, and the team, minus Ron got two for being 10 minutes late with Ron being awarded with four detentions when he finally walked through the door 20 minutes late, then another for noticeably not showering and two more for bad attitude when he snarled out, "You can't give me a detention because I'm a Prefect."

"Actually I can," retorted Pimpo, "As Prefects can be given detention – as you should know as you were given several by Flitwick, Sprout and Snape – and had you been on time you would know that you are no longer a Prefect."

"But Dumbledore himself made me Prefect so you can't take away my badge as a Headmaster outranks a Ministry lackey" he had whined until silenced by his "problem" kicking in.

With that segue Pimpo informed Ron that was one of the many reasons for his badge being taken as (1) he ignored the Ravenclaw report which had been accepted by Dumbledore and stated the reason for his "problem" was him abusing his Prefect power; (2) he was also very insulting to most people outside of Gryffindor but did pick on the younger Gryffs, Neville Longbottom and most especially Harry Potter; (3) he went out of his way to take points off of Slytherins, especially the younger years and the younger years in Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw; (4) he did as little work as possible and it was very noticeable that Granger had to pick up the slack; and (5) he was not to retaliate against Granger or anybody else that he decided had caused him to lose his badge as "Many people have complained about you and that is the main reason you lost the badge."

Naturally Ron started complaining, blaming Harry Potter for his "problem" and other woes but Pimpo just yelled at him especially when Ron had another attack. "You are having the problem because whoever it was who cursed you knew you too well and when you abuse someone whether by insults, slander or abuse of power you 'lose it' and it WILL STOP NOW."

Pimpo waved his wand around and then announced to Ron "Every time you have an incident you will lose 25 points from Gryffindor. Once you learn to control your temper and _**'clean up your act'**_ I am certain the curse will stop. This behavior has gone on far too long and the Ministry has received complaints so .NOW! Also for every 100 points you lose for Gryffindor – for any reason – you will receive a detention. If you lose 300 points you will be dropped from the Quidditch team. IS THIS ALL CLEAR?"

Ron nodded his head as there was nothing he could do about it or at least while Pimpo was here. But after he left…"

Ron was delighted to learn that Hermione had lost her badge for her "problem" as well as complaints being made about her and not just in regard to her Prefect duties.

Much to Ron's horror Neville had been made Prefect and Parvati replaced Granger. Then Ron remember what a wimp Neville was and was sure he could browbeat him into submission and thus Ron would still be ruling Gryffindor – along with the Twins, of course.

But then Pimpo assigned the Twins a week of detentions due to the very many complaints which had been made about them from the other Houses and told the assembly that if he heard one – just one little, itsy bitty rumor that the Twins were using their "pranks" to intimidate or threaten anyone from any House or even if their name was being used as a threat (and he looked directly at Ron then quickly at Ginny as he said this) they would… _totally regret it._

He mentioned that "all Weasleys, parents and children, are still under suspicion of 'many things' and all are on very thin ice." "Minister Fudge is eagerly waiting for just one of you to make a mistake and down _**all of you**_ will come. DO. . ?"

Even Ron couldn't miss the threat. Then Ginny was told to immediately surrender a certain broom which she had obtained by "illegal means" and she was given leave to get the broom before the meeting continued. After she angrily gave a broom to Pimpo, he looked at it then took 100 points from Gryffindor because Ginny had not turned in Harry's Firebolt but her old Cleansweep. "One more stunt like that and you will be off the team and serve a month's detention."

He then singled out a few more people for chastisement before touching upon the most serious subject.

"It has come to my attention and thus the Ministry's that a certain oath has been forcibly obtained from all Gryffindors starting in 1991. In its simplest form it states that 'What happens in Gryffindor stays in Gryffindor and any and all orders given by Headmaster Dumbledore will be obeyed without question as it is for the Greater Good."

"Since due to the oath no Gryffindor could betray or report some of the things which happened in this House, you know that you can blame no one for betraying Dumbledore's orders because no Gryffindor has. How this information was found out is no business of anyone in this House including Professor McGonagall. We are still investigating 4½ years' worth of abuse so punishment cannot be given at this time but do not doubt for a moment that those most guilty will be caught."

"Therefore the interrogations will begin immediately starting with Professor McGonagall who is of this moment relieved of her position as Head of House. She will be replaced by Professor Septima Vector."

With that said he ended the meeting and led a very shocked McGonagall out of the Tower and to a room where Amelia Bones and several Aurors waited with Veritaserum.

After the meeting everybody in Gryffindor was scared. Even Ron was at a loss for words and wasn't stupid enough to say anything. Hermione Granger had ran up to her room crying to be followed by Ginny Weasley who wanted information and wanted Hermione to comfort her but Hermione could give neither.

Groups formed and questions were asked but no answers could be given. No one had really wanted to take that oath but Dumbledore had ordered it and McGonagall had carried out his orders as usual. All she could tell them was that it was for the Greater Good and the safety of not only Gryffindor House but the entire Magical World. How could a 17 year old let alone an eleven year old argue with that order?

There was, however, one person in Gryffindor who did know what had happened, how and why it had happened and had a very good idea of what would probably be the outcome of the investigation.

It had all been Hermione Granger's fault. Her actions had been the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back and it had been witnessed by many and not given a second thought by most except for the ones who counted.

It had started innocently enough shortly after the start of the second term and after Dumbledore had managed to wiggle his way out of things. Pimpo had just been appointed Grand Inquisitor and was starting his investigations and evaluations.

Fudge had given him a lot of power but expected results as fast as possible. It was going to be a bit difficult as since he had been working at Hogwarts he noticed that all of the teachers and many of the students seemed to be under a code of silence and possibly oaths to Dumbledore. He wouldn't put anything passed Dumbledore.

Granger had stayed at Hogwarts with Harry Potter and as usual she had been following him around like a remora on a shark, monopolizing the conversation at meals and occasionally losing her clothes. Although Pimpo was straight and enjoyed seeing young witches scantily dressed and/or naked, even he was getting annoyed at the obnoxious girl losing her clothes, especially after the reason for it was "discovered" because it was very disruptive and…well now it was just plain rude. However, like the Weasley abomination, she refused to control the problem and thus, in Pimpo's opinion, was just an exhibitionist and Weasley was a pig.

The girl was harassing the Potter boy, which although that was good because the boy was nothing but a liar and causing all sorts of problems for the Ministry, after a while Pimpo got tired of listening. He had been forced by the Minister to stay at Hogwarts and not spend the holidays with his family and friends because he had to spy on them all and "catch either Potter or Dumbledore" in whatever it was they were scheming.

But she was such a…what's the term? Oh yes BITCH, that she was ruining his Christmas dinner. Dumbledore, McGonagall and even Snape had made other and no doubt more pleasant dinner plans so Trelawney, Pince, Flitwick, Hagrid and Filch were the only other teachers/staff attending the dinner. There was Granger, Potter, two younger year Hufflepuffs, three Ravenclaw seventh years that were staying to study for the NEWTS and no Slytherins whatsoever.

The thirteen of them were eating and trying to have a good time (for Ravenclaws studying was a good time even if it was done during Christmas dinner) but really not succeeding as the only real "conversation" going on was the loud, obnoxious drone by Granger directed at Potter. She just wouldn't let up.

The others just tuned her out but she was so annoying he was starting to feel sorry for Potter. Finally Pimpo snapped and yelled, "Granger . You are ruining everybody's dinner."

The girl did shut up, huffed her disapproval and then commanded, "Come Harry, we're leaving since we are not welcomed" but Potter surprising replied, "I'm still eating Hermione so I don't…"

"I don't care. . !"

Sensing a losing battle, Harry managed to grab a roll, an apple and tried for a small pumpkin tart but the girl slapped his hand away saying, "You've had enough sweets. How many times do I have to tell you they are bad for you…" and she dragged the boy away.

After they had left, Pimpo asked aloud to anybody, "Does this always happen?" only to be told by Flitwick "Yes" before he placed a forkful of mashed potatoes in his mouth. Then Trelawney said the first words of the evening, "But there is nothing anyone can do about it," before she too resumed her dinner, which consisted of taking a large gulp of wine.

After quickly finishing his dinner, Pimpo decided to patrol. It was then he heard an argument in the hallway. He followed the sounds to see Potter walking very fast towards the Hufflepuff dormitory. He cast a silencing charm on his shoes and disillusioned himself and followed the noise only to see that Potter was not heading for Hufflepuff but was making a dash for the kitchens. He couldn't blame the boy.

Granger was in full rant and she was ordering him to stop and not to bother the poor enslaved house elves only to have Potter yell back, "I'm hungry. You ruined my Christmas dinner and I want…"

"I DID NOT RUIN YOUR DINNER THE MINISTRY SPY DID."

"All he did was to tell you to be quiet."

"I was not going to stay there and be insulted by a Ministry bigot!"

"Then you could have left and I could have eaten my meal."

"Don't be ridiculous, Harry," she snapped back. "If I leave, you leave. You know the rules."

The boy stopped to make a stand and said, "Which rules? There are so many after all, most of which I have not been told about until I 'break one' and get punished for it. Is it one of the 'mysterious Gryffindor oath rules' I am breaking?"

Granger sighed like she was talking to an unruly, disobeying, very young child and said, "Harry James Potter, you know Professor Dumbledore only has your best interest at heart and you are…such a disappointment to him and…well to everybody. AND YOU OWE RON AN APOLOGY FOR BEING JEALOUS THAT HE'S A PREFECT AND YOU'RE NOT."

"For the hundredth time, I am not jealous and EVERYBODY – even the Twins thinks he doesn't deserve to be one and have told him lots of times even in the common room that Neville should have been…."

"THAT JUST PROVES YOU ARE JEALOUS," she yelled back in triumph. "You WILL NOT get any Christmas presents from ANYBODY until you tell Ron that you are jealous and apologize to him. Professor Dumbledore has even said that unless you shape up and start acting like a true Gryffindor that you will not be allowed to stay at Headquarters even after you recharge the wards at the Dursleys. Don't you ever want to spend any time with Sirius?"

"All I want right now is to have something to eat and I'm going to get some food! It's Christmas for Merlin's sake so can't I have…"

"NO! YOU DON'T DESERVE ANY FOR BEING MEAN TO RON AND YOU ARE NOT GOING TO INCONVENIENCE THE ELVES ESPECIALLY ON CHRISTMAS DAY!"

With that said she stunned him, he fell to the floor and landed with a loud thud (which must have hurt) and then the callous girl started levitating him away and back to Gryffindor Tower, chastising him all the way while singing the praises of Dumbledore, how he owed so much to him and the Weasleys, not to mention her, for being his friends and a lot of other downright mean, nasty and condescending things at the poor helpless boy. Pimpo knew it was condescending as her clothes disappeared twice on the way back to the Tower and she had to stop twice to summon an elf to retrieve them.

Pimpo followed getting an earful and learning a few things that Dumbledore would definitely not want him to know. He spent the remainder of the day writing up a report to Fudge and making plans. Then the December 27th edition of the _Prophet_ revealed what Potter had done.

Pimpo didn't blame the boy – not that he would admit it to anyone – because he had personally witnessed Granger in action and if this was a sample of what was said and done to the boy in private… well, no wonder he snapped.

Besides the girl had mentioned "Sirius" and the only "Sirius" Pimpo could think of was Sirius Black. He had held back some information because he was still "investigating a good lead" and didn't want to report until he found out more. Fudge was in heaven due to the _Prophet_ article so he let Pimpo have free rein. "Just find me what I need to destroy them all especially Dumbledore and…I'll make you Head of the DMLE" Fudge promised.

Pimpo knew that once they had McGonagall under Veritaserum they would probably have all they needed to crush the Leader of the Light. Life was good!

Chapter 6 – New Lives and History Lessons

Harry and Sven got along famously. Sven showed him how to really brew potions and without Snape breathing down his neck or Slytherins sabotaging his work, had he taken his OWLS he probably would have received an "O" instead of the dismal grade he probably would have gotten.

For the first time in his life Harry was able to really give his all and learn. Sven also tutored him in Latin and Swedish and within five months he was fluent in both. He then started him on German and French as the more languages one knew the better.

Sven also introduced him to Runes and started him on Arithmancy. He wouldn't have been able to sit an OWL exam in them but he was probably up to a second year level. It would be enough for him to take the courses at the school he would be attending come September.

Sven also instructed Harry in some things which were now outlawed in Britain thanks to Dumbledore, namely some of the ancient magic which now was only learned by Purebloods and some Half-bloods.

Sven couldn't tutor Harry concerning his family heritage as Britain was different from the rest of Europe especially the Scandinavian countries and each magical family had their own laws, customs and rituals. Sirius Black should have started teaching Harry some of the things he needed to know even while he had been in hiding. He could have written letters or found other ways to safely communicate with Harry but he had not.

The few times they did communicate besides the few short weeks Harry had spent at Grimmauld Place before the start of term, Sirius had concentrated only on telling him about James and their time at Hogwarts. He talked about the "hilarious pranks" they had played especially on Snape and Slytherins and about how they had gotten any and every girl they wanted snogged, shagged and then went onto the next conquest.

The only thing that Sirius had mentioned concerning Lily was that she put up a fight until at last James "had gotten her" and then had actually married her. He had been drinking heavily when telling this interesting tidbit and had not Remus been there to quickly change the subject, Harry felt that he would have learned exactly what Sirius really thought about Lily.

But that was all in the past now as Harry could not return to Britain even if he wanted to and . .TO. It would just be the same old same old plus he'd have the Ministry trying to throw him into Azkaban if Voldie didn't get him first.

According to Erik, "Dumbledore is on the run now and has finally been removed from the ICW," he told Harry and Sven gleefully. "Britain has even sent a new representative to the ICW – a Gareth Greengrass. There were actually parties thrown when Dumbledore was ousted and then a few more when Greengrass came to present his credentials to the ICW."

"Don't get your hopes up Harry," Sven told him. "Dumbledore is down but not out and he won't give up until he gets back some, if not all of his power."

"Or Voldemort gets him first," added Erik. "His return might not be acknowledged in Britain, but in Europe many know that he is back."

"So if Voldie wins he will invade Europe and start to conquer the world," Harry asked.

"Oh no, no," said Erik. "Originally he had just wanted to return Britain to a 'pre-Dumbledore state' and lessen the influence of Muggleborns."

"You mean he wanted to kill all Muggleborns and Muggles."

"No Harry," Sven said. "He wanted to do what many other countries do and have done for centuries, namely remove Muggleborns from their Muggle relatives and raise them in our world. Only a fool would attempt genocide on that order."

"But Grindelwald did and if Dumbledore hadn't defeated him, he would have killed everybody and taken over the world."

Sven and Erik looked at each other before Erik answered. "No Harry that was what is said in British history books – if you read them. The history taught at Hogwarts concentrates on Goblin rebellions and very little else, does it not? If you bought a history book you would find out that history consists of more than Goblin rebellions and the Hogwarts Founders. The few history books for sale in Britain are limited and very biased. Guess who arranged it that way?"

"But Grindelwald did start a war and nearly took over the world. He was aiming for world conquest until…"

"Until Dumbledore defeated him in an epic battle that no one witnessed. Did Dumbledore kill Grindelwald?"

"Well I suppose he did as don't you have to kill a Dark Lord to stop him?"

"Not necessarily, you just have to stop him. It is a little known fact in Europe and definitely not known in Britain, but Gellert Grindelwald has been imprisoned in an impenetrable fortress and there he remains and will until he dies. Dumbledore visits him at least once a year to 'check up on him' or rather gloat," Erik said.

"Remember Harry, it is the winners who write the history books or rather have them written to their specifications. Also no dark lord or lady has ever successfully taken over more than their home territory in oh what…the last 1,000 or so years."

"But Grindelwald – whose history you are not taught at Hogwarts – only got as far as he did because he was helping the Nazis who were trying to conquer Europe. If you ever talked to someone who actually lived through the war, such as your teachers like McGoogle (which he called McGonagall and Harry didn't correct him) or Flitwick, British Magicals joined in the magical fight against Grindelwald but that was mostly the Purebloods. Many Half-bloods and all Muggleborn wizards fought in the Muggle military."

"However, after the war it was insinuated and became the official position that the only 'real war' was the one against Grindelwald. Had he not had the Nazis to back him up, he would never have attempted what he did. Also, once the Allied Forces invaded France the entire tide of the war turned and Grindelwald's forces also fell."

"It might interest you to know Harry," began Erik, "That for many years 'rumor had it' that the only wizard who Grindelwald feared because he knew he could defeat him was…one guess who."

"Dumbledore?"

"Why yes. That was also being said about Voldemort that the only wizard he feared because he knew he could defeat him was…"

"Dumbledore."

"Yes. However! It took Dumbledore years to get around to defeating Grindelwald and he never openly faced Voldemort in battle except on the rare occasions when Voldemort and his followers had been fighting a battle and were exhausted and then at the very last minute after others of the Ministry and 'the Light forces' had been fighting and losing badly to 'Voldie' as you call him, a fresh Dumbledore would pop in at the end with reinforcements and then the exhausted 'dark, evil forces' were no match and the logical thing to do was to retreat and fight another day," Erik said.

"But Voldie and his followers had basically won the battle anyway but the 'legend' - started by Albus himself it was said - continued. However, the war was being lost and it was estimated that by early 1982 Voldie would win. Then you came along and the rest is history."

This gave Harry much to think about and one of the reasons Erik had dropped by was to give Harry some history books to study and learn "the truth" of many things which were tightly suppressed in Britain.

So Harry learned, healed, grew and prospered while his school mates…well they were not faring so well.

McGonagall could not tell the Ministry what they wanted to know because she too was under an oath sworn on her life and magic. How convenient. However, Pimpo would not give up and McGonagall had been ousted as Head of House. She was told she was lucky to still have a job and was placed on probation.

Then Hermione Granger was sent for and given Veritaserum despite her screaming about her rights being violated, etc. but no one cared. Since she was under the Gryffindor oath, Pimpo asked her about what she had said to Harry Potter after Christmas dinner. She had no choice but to tell and when she didn't tell all (a tactic used during Veritaserum dosage which Sirius told the Order members about) Pimpo very nicely asked for a more thorough answer.

In the end she was screwed and it served her right. Then after the Veritaserum wore off, Hermione made the dumbest decision of her life as there, in her grasp, was Amelia Bones. Hermione demanded to know how "Harry" had obtained the Ministry report which had been sent to her parents and had the nerve to insinuate that it had been her own niece Susan who "had sold it to Harry" before a very angry Amelia Bones asked "what report?"

Oops. Apparently there were many reports done at the Ministry every day so Hermione had to be more specific. Since Hermione couldn't be dosed with Veritaserum for another eight hours, Amelia Bones told Pimpo – while Hermione listened – that she was going to do some extra investigation.

Hermione was held in custody while Amelia and another Auror, changed into Muggle clothing and stopped by Scotland Yard to get assistance of a Muggleborn police officer. They went to the Granger household and had a nice chat with Hermione's parents about their "Christmas presents" and other things. Then a scan was done on them and surprise, surprise it was found that there had been several types of charms, spells and hexes placed on them and even a few obliviations had been done.

Emma Granger was being very helpful and gave Amelia Bones a piece of information she had desired to have for many years, namely, the Dursleys', Harry Potter's guardians, home address. She had found it among some of Hermione's possessions when she had been cleaning her room after one of her "summonings" by Dumbledore and his ilk.

Since it was very late, Amelia went back to report to Pimpo and told him not to dose the Granger girl until tomorrow as she had other investigations to do first. "Just don't let her out of your sight even if you have to take her to the Ministry as I don't want Dumbledore getting his hands on her."

The next day was a Sunday so the Dursleys were at home, when Amelia Bones, an Auror and now two Scotland Yard wizards appeared on their doorstep. They had a disillusioned Unspeakable with them who was checking the "famous" blood wards.

The neighbors couldn't help but notice the two police cars pulling up at the Dursleys and phone calls were made between many houses as people waited to hear or see the outcome of the visit. It was a good thing for the Dursleys that the "Freaks" had placed silencing charms around the house so that the neighbors couldn't hear the shouting, threats and screams coming from the Dursleys.

Oh how the Veritaserum flowed and the tempers rose as the house was checked for "things" and a large amount of alarming evidence was gathered. The neighbors were going crazy later on when another police car – or rather van – drove up and after the passengers entered the Dursley home, five or so minutes passed before all three Dursleys were led out of their house, in handcuffs and taken away in the police van.

None of the police still there would tell anyone anything (and oh did people ask). When they left two police officers had arrived to watch the house and put up the yellow crime scene ribbons and once again no one would tell the neighbors anything except for one officer saying "Watch the 10 o'clock news."

By Monday morning there was enough evidence to arrest Albus Dumbledore for many things, the most prevalent being illegal appointment as a magical guardian, abetting and actually arranging for child abuse, bribery of Muggles and a few Magicals and the odd Goblin account managers or two (who would shortly be very dead account managers), misuse of his position as Headmaster over the past five decades and that was just the beginning.

Somehow Dumbledore had been warned and he took the Fawkes express away with as much of his personal belongings (and the personal belongings of others) as he could manage to pack in five minutes. The great Albus Dumbledore was a wanted man and Silas Pimpo was the new temporary Headmaster of Hogwarts.

Fudge was ecstatic and was even seen doing silly victory dances in the halls of the Ministry. Lucius Malfoy paid for an impromptu party for Fudge, having his personal elves bring in the best of food and drink to the Ministry.

Rita Skeeter got a wonderful story and didn't have to embellish any facts (probably for the first time in her career) as the scandal spoke for itself. And there was more goodies promised as there was so much information to go through. She was in Skeeter heaven.

Lucius couldn't stay very long for Fudge's party as he had other prior commitments – like throwing an even bigger party at Malfoy Manor to celebrate.

And what a party it was as Voldemort was happy, the Death Eaters were happy, the food was delicious and the wine, brandy, whiskey, etc. was of the finest quality and flowed like a waterfall. The next morning even Voldemort needed a hangover potion – not that anyone noticed because they had their own overindulgent aches and pains.

There was a really big party in Slytherin House not only because Dumbledore was gone but because Hermione Granger had been expelled!

Naturally none of the details were known only the GOOD NEWS and the girl's possessions had been quickly packed and she was personally taken from the school by Amelia Bones. That was all anybody would ever know.

Amelia Bones had taken Granger back to her parents and explained many things. She strongly advised the three of them LEAVE BRITAIN IMMEDIATELY IF NOT SOONER. Because she was a noble, decent human being, she arranged for some Muggleborn members of Scotland Yard to help them pack and then to "disappear" as well as arranging for the sale of their practice, properties, etc. to be taken care of.

They would be entering a witness protection type program and everything had to be done as soon as possible so that not only Death Eaters would be unable to find them but also, and even worse in Amelia's opinion, Dumbledore or the Order of the Phoenix. Even Hermione had to admit that she was oh so screwed and would not receive any mercy or even have time to explain, so she cooperated as much as possible. The Grangers were packed and on their way out of the country within three hours.

Although Amelia didn't tell Fudge – because he would never believe it as it was impossible – Granger had given them proof through Veritaserum and her pensive memories that yes, Voldemort was really back and all members of the Order of the Phoenix knew about it, there WAS DEFINITE PROOF, and Dumbledore had certain plans for Harry Potter which he refused to share or explain to ANYONE. He was Albus Dumbledore so he didn't have to and people would just have to trust and obey him as he was doing it for the Greater Good.

While under Veritaserum, Hermione could for once freely admit it that after 4½ years she had stopped trusting Dumbledore. She really liked and cared for Harry Potter as he was the first and probably only real friend she had ever had. She did some of the things she did because Dumbledore said it was for Harry's own good, even when she didn't believe it was.

She knew Harry had been hurt, probably very badly abused by his Muggle guardians, and every year Dumbledore put Harry through some sort of test. Last year when he had been entered into the Tournament totally against his will, Dumbledore had not only allowed but insisted on no one in the staff helping Harry fight the abuse (the Potter stinks buttons), having his honor and credibility almost destroyed and many, many other things.

She had been totally relieved that she had been "allowed" to believe Harry and help him with the Tournament otherwise he would never have survived. She was on such a roll that she didn't notice that the Veritaserum had long ago worn off as she kept on telling all of the things she had been forced to hide. In fact, as Amelia found out just as long as it wasn't anything that happened in the Gryffindor Tower, she could tell someone about it.

And tell she did. She was actually rewarded for her help not only by "escaping Hogwarts and Dumbledore" but allowing she and her parents at chance at life as they all would have been the first victims of any war since they were not only Muggles but had produced a Mudblood and the fact that they were Muggles would prevent any wards from being placed on their home or business or even allowing Hermione to use magic in defense when she was at home.

She was also shown a list of the various charms, spells, potions, etc. which had been placed on her as well as obliviations. She was also shown the list which had been done to her parents. Naturally being Hermione Granger she absolutely refused to believe any of it because Albus Dumbledore would NEVER, EVER DO SUCH A THING. She even started accusing Bones and the Unspeakables of attempting to frame the beloved Leader of the Light until Emma Granger slapped her daughter silly. It was the first time she had done such a thing but considering the circumstances it was necessary.

Then both Granger parents let into their daughter and Amelia Bones almost felt sorry for the obnoxious girl – almost! At the end of the tirade they forced their daughter to apologize to all and then do it again and MEAN IT. Otherwise she would receive NO POCKET MONEY and no money for any books other than the most basic school book.

So the Grangers left for a new life and other than Dumbledore (who could always use an intelligent, totally loyal minion for his nefarious purposes [much like McGonagall had been and still was to her great detriment]) and McGonagall, NO ONE MISSED HERMIONE GRANGER. Or at least they didn't until it was time to take their OWLS.

Neville Longbottom spent the last part of his fifth year in virtual hiding to study for his OWLS. Some nights he didn't even sleep in Gryffindor and just went to the Room of Requirement where he, Luna Lovegood, Su Li and the "third year Ravenclaw outcast" (Ravenclaw had an outcast for each year) basically lived, slept and did their homework in peace and quiet. Winky had showed them the room to protect them as she knew what was coming and how badly things would start getting in Gryffindor.

Su Li and Luna helped Neville with his potions and Su Li taught Neville a spell to use in Potions to prevent the Slytherins from sabotaging his cauldron. Therefore, due to having peace and help Neville did very, very well in his OWLS even obtaining and Exceeds Expectations in Potions. Luna helped Neville try out one of the extra wands that Dobby had found and two of them worked for Neville much better than his father's. No one noticed he was using a different wand anyway and, quite frankly, other than his teachers no one noticed (or cared) that he was doing better in his classes especially those which needed a wand.

Ordinarily, Dumbledore would have noticed except he had other things to worry about. McGonagall was basically neutralized after being relieved of her power and was in despair due to losing Harry and Hermione. Pomfrey had noticed the disastrous decline of her oldest friend and her care and concern had been the only thing that saved McGonagall from becoming a total alcoholic.

Pimpo had forbidden all teachers and staff from leaving the school without his permission. Therefore McGonagall and Snape could not attend Order meetings and Snape couldn't even answer the summons of Voldemort. Voldemort knew this but he kept summoning Snape anyway causing the spy great pain every time there was a meeting he couldn't attend. It served Snape right being double agent and stupid enough to become a lackey of Dumbledore.

Ron, Dean and Seamus were frantically trying to study for their OWLS. There was no Hermione to take the notes, nag him to do homework and then check and correct it. It wasn't until he started flunking and getting the warnings before the spring holidays that Ron even remembered it was his OWL year. The Twins wouldn't help him (they had only gotten three OWLS and thus didn't care what Ron did), the other Gryffindors wouldn't help him and Dean and Seamus had gone as far as actually studying and doing work. Naturally Ron wanted to copy everything but now that he had no power and Pimpo was breathing down everyone's neck, he couldn't bully them.

So after failing his tests miserably he cried to his Mummy who would have helped him if he had been allowed to go "home" for the holidays but since the Weasleys were in trouble and being carefully watched, they all had to stay at Hogwarts and study for their OWLS and NEWTS. McGonagall had received "orders" to help Ron as did his other teachers. Only McGonagall complied. In the end Dean and Seamus squeaked by with Acceptables and the odd Exceeds Expectations but Ron…

It was all Harry Potter's fault. The bloody, worthless Half-blood son of a Mudblood whore %*##**** had caused all of Ron's misery. Then it was Hermione's fault for getting herself expelled and then not having the decency of still doing her homework and sending Ron a copy of her notes and homework assignments and the OWL notes Ron would have been getting had she been there. He knew her parents had an owl so there was no excuse for her not to continue "doing her job" of helping Ron to pass.

It was a rule of Hogwarts that you had to get at least three OWLS to pass and be eligible to go to sixth year. If you were a Muggleborn and attending Hogwarts through the charity fund and didn't make it you were expelled and your wand was snapped. When you were 17 you could get another wand and become a piss-poor wizard/witch but couldn't return to Magical Britain.

If you were a Half-blood or a Pureblood you had to repeat the year but AGAIN, if you were on the charity fund you were basically expelled. Your wand wouldn't be snapped but legally you couldn't use it until you were of age unless you got a "special dispensation" from the Ministry which cost about G100. That was the fate of many such as Stan Shunpike the conductor on the Knight Bus. His family was poor and…well stupid…and not very magically powerful and such a low paying and futureless job was the best he could ever get.

The Weasleys had always been helped with tuition after Bill and Charlie went to school. Aunt Muriel had paid for Percy's education and Bill and Charlie helped the Twins with their tuition once they got jobs. However, it had been Dumbledore's "help" which saw the younger Weasleys getting their education. Harry had been paying the bulk of the Twins' tuition and all of Ron's and Ginny's ever since he "befriended" the Weasleys. He didn't know he had been doing it but Dumbledore had "arranged it all" and would still be doing it had not Harry's trust fund "disappeared" or if he had still been Headmaster.

The Twins were graduating this year so that left Ron and Ginny needing their tuition paid. Unfortunately Arthur had lost his job, Dumbledore was cast out of Hogwarts, Harry's largess was gone and getting on the charity fund with Pimpo and the Ministry in charge of things was looking very bad. Aunt Muriel couldn't afford to fund the Weasleys anymore and Percy refused because he had "disowned his family" and therefore wouldn't contribute anything. The Twins were selfishly (as Molly said) trying to set up their shop instead of helping their family and there was simply NO MONEY available.

As Arthur had told Molly, "The Twins have no job or chance of getting one thanks to our supporting of Dumbledore. The shop is their only chance at employment. Percy will try to use any influence he has to get Ginny on the charity fund but if Ron fails to get his three OWLS…well that's his problem."

Fortunately for Ron he got Acceptables in Transfiguration (thanks to McGonagall), Care of Magical Creatures (thanks to Hagrid) and Divination, because at the last minute Lavender and Parvati took pity on him and gave him their notes to read. Ginny did get on the charity fund but not Ron. Bill and Charlie had to "help out" buying Ginny's supplies and a bit with Ron's tuition but not much else. In the end Dumbledore "took up a collection" for Ron from the Order but basically it consisted of bullying Sirius into paying for Ron's tuition. Sirius didn't want to because he finally blamed Ron for causing the rift and disappearance of Harry, but Dumbledore forced him.

After fifth year Neville went to "visit a friend" (an unnamed one) and didn't return from the visit. He took only Trevor and a few books and later a few plants, seeds and cuttings were found to be missing. His father's wand was left on his bedroom bureau because "he couldn't do magic during the holidays." No trace of him was found.

Luna Lovegood didn't return and neither did Su Li and all of the Muggleborn students with any sense and a way to escape. On September 1, 1996 the halls of Hogwarts were not as full as the year before and it consisted mostly of Purebloods (but not all of them as some like Susan Bones had also "mysteriously disappeared") and some of the "purer" Half-bloods.

The Ministry and most especially the Slytherins rejoiced at it all as most of the "filth" and/or other undesirables were gone. However, it only showed just how few Purebloods there were. The next generation was very small and if a war did start how many of those who had and would graduate from Hogwarts in the 1990s survive to have children of their own to attend Hogwarts? There were always infertile couples, the odd Squib being born, those who never married or reproduced and those who couldn't afford to have more than a child or two.

During the last war many families had fled and some had not returned. British Magicals tended not to marry outside of their country for "pride" and, it was whispered, few Magicals from other countries were stupid enough to marry them and then live and have children in the bigoted, rigid, Dumbledore-controlled country. Since his defeat of Grindelwald he had used his influence and ever-increasing political power to mold Magic into what he thought it should be.

He declared much magic to be dark and then lobbied to forbid its practice. He decided that instead of "forcing Muggleborns to adapt to the Magical World and accept its culture and traditions" that they should be introduced to their new world and it should accommodate itself to their culture and traditions. That was why at Hogwarts Christmas was celebrated instead of Yule and the sweet-filled holiday of Halloween replaced Samhein so that the Muggleborns wouldn't be shocked, scared and disgusted at the rituals of Magic.

Once he became Headmaster of Hogwarts Dumbledore had radically changed the curriculum and had even gone so far to drop many courses that would "offend" Muggleborns or that didn't meet his idea of what Magic should really be. "Grindelwald became the evil, fiendish, irredeemable Dark Lord due to the practice of dark magic and I am only getting rid of certain fields of magic which led him to start on his path to darkness," had been the reason given. Some people called Dumbledore's agenda the "Mugglifying of Magic" or the "dumbing down" of all that Magic had been for centuries and perhaps from the beginning of time.

So far Britain had been the only country to agree to his ideas and "follow his wisdom" but he had and would continue to lobby the rest of Europe into becoming what Britain and Hogwarts were. Sven Borgström had brought Harry up-to-date on the real history of Magical Europe since the end of the two wars. "Erik has hinted to me that Dumbledore's real goal is to eventually reveal the existence of Magic and Magicals to the Muggle World and that is why so many people at the ICW consider him dangerous."

"But wouldn't things go back to the witch burnings and persecutions like before the International Statute of Secrecy was enacted?"

"Of course it would and it would be even worse due to all of the advancements made and the technology the Muggles have. Only a fool would think otherwise. Of course, the 'Muggle Studies' that is still being taught at Hogwarts is completely out of date and doesn't mention things like, television, computers, jets or _**atomic bombs**_ , the latter of which has advanced at an alarming rate."

"Hermione says that's because the Purebloods don't want to know how advanced and powerful Muggles are," Harry added.

"No, it's not the Purebloods who don't want the public to know, it's Dumbledore. He's trying to lull the Purebloods and Half-bloods into a false sense of security. Let them believe the Muggles are backward and harmless and thus not to be feared. It has been noticed by the rest of the Magical World that Dumbledore has encouraged the division between Muggleborns, Halfs and Pures to such an extent that they don't trust one another at all. Purebloods know hardly anything in regard to the Muggle world and while Half-bloods might still have some Muggle connections, they soon lose them the more they get entrenched in the Magical World."

"Perhaps you've noticed that all things Muggle are greatly discouraged. Take for example football. In Britain Quidditch is the _**only**_ sport allowed to be played at Hogwarts. Do you ever recall any Muggleborns trying to get a game up?"

"Well Dean Thomas brought his ball and tried his first year but most people – especially Ron – just badmouthed it. He even refused to listen to Dean when he tried to explain it to him and always made fun of it when Dean and Seamus – who's a Half-blood – discussed it. Dean just gave up after a while unless Ron wasn't around. It's almost like it's considered a 'sin' to talk about anything Muggle, even literature. Hermione couldn't find any Muggle literature in the Library and our Librarian said 'It wasn't considered important enough to grace the shelves of the Hogwarts Library' or something like that."

"That's it exactly" Sven told him. "The only literature considered 'acceptable' in Britain is that which was written by a wizard/witch such as William Shakespeare. Alexandre Dumas was also a wizard but since he is French he isn't considered 'good enough' to be read by British Magicals. Neither is Cervantes' _Don Quixote_ because Cervantes isn't British. There have been no 'real' British authors or rather wizards who write, in this century, so the most popular fiction written in Britain is what the _Daily Prophet_ prints as news."

Harry was going to start his sixth year at Sven's alma mater. He had learned much more in the eight months he spent with Sven than he had at Hogwarts, but most especially, he now knew the "real truth" and not "Dumbledore's truth" as Sven referred to it.

Harry had also been "healed" enough so people wouldn't recognize him. There had been blocks placed on his magic by one guess who especially starting when he came to Hogwarts. There were potions discovered in his system which sapped his strength and ruined his concentration which he had noticed but couldn't do anything about. Had he been as reckless at 4 Privet Drive as he was at Hogwarts, he would never have survived to go to Hogwarts.

Since Sven had been an Unspeakable he and Healer Anderson were able to carefully explain the various blocks, curses, hexes and illegal potions which had been administered to Harry. There were only two magics which hadn't been done by Dumbledore: the glamour which Lily had placed on Harry at his birth and the glamour that Harry's accidental magic placed on him to hide some of the injuries he received at the hands of the Dursleys, which he had no idea he was doing.

Between the removal of the things Dumbledore had done to Harry as well as the healing regime he had undergone and the removal of the two glamours, no one would have recognized the boy known as Harry Potter – except for his famous scar. The only resemblance he had of James Potter had been the messy hair and wearing the same ugly glasses James had worn.

He still had dark hair, but it was ebony instead of the very, very dark brown which James Potter really had but called black. It wasn't messy but straight, silky and cut into a flattering style. His eyes were not the exact color they had been as they had more blue in them making them a teal color. He also now had perfect vision and the healing had been done.

He had grown a bit but would never be tall because the malnutrition he had grown up with had done too much damage in his formative years. Still he was 5ʹ 7ʺ on his sixteen birthday and he still might grow a few more inches. Now he stood straight and tall and didn't slump or have the terrible, submissive posture he had growing up with the Dursleys which had continued at Hogwarts.

He now had confidence and for the first time in his life he had been allowed to learn and nothing could prevent him from doing so. He sucked up knowledge like a sponge and had a talent for languages. He was totally unrecognizable once his famous scar was glamoured by Sven, who spelled the glamour so that only a very powerful magical could see through it.

There was one thing which Sven, Healer Anderson and Erik had learned about him which they did not tell him. He had _"something"_ in his head which they did not know what it was only that they couldn't remove it without killing him. They would be doing research to find out exactly what it was but until then, it had to stay. Just on a hunch, they administered a heritage test to the boy and found out some very…disturbing …information.

On September 6th Harry or Hasse Krueger as he would be known, would be starting at Viking Academy, Sven and Erik's alma mater. His Swedish was excellent and his German was coming along and it would be said that he was an orphan of Swedish and German descent who had been home-schooled until his guardian/tutor recently died.

He would meet with a very pleasant surprise as not only was Luna going to be attending the school but she had convinced Neville and Su Li to come with her for a "real education" and to get away from Magical Britain and the coming war.

Harry would be starting a new life with some of his real friends and well…to hell with everybody else but most especially Dumbledore. He was finally free, healthy and happy.

But as everyone knows Harry James Potter wasn't allowed to be free, healthy and definitely not happy as those in power would never let him go. But he didn't know it at the moment and was just enjoying his life. For once he had hope and having hope was sometimes all that was needed.

FINIS

There might be a sequel as I know I left the story hanging in limbo. For those who never read any of my stories, I have the computer from hell that does what it wants which is usually the opposite of what I want. I think it is possessed by Nargles, Gremlins (the WWII type which were mischievous and mechanically oriented and inclined to damage or dismantle machinery such as aircraft but now probably POSSESSES MY COMPUTER) or an evil wizard/witch. I therefore can't post separate chapters so have to print the entire story. Hopefully this will be solved when I get a new computer. Until then I ask your patience. Thank you.


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